The Shattered Hope
by fireicewriter42
Summary: Sequel to "Vision of Happiness". Fate has struck back hard, and Merlin must face losing everyone he holds dear once again. But this time, he has more to lose. Can Merlin beat destiny a second time, or will Fate have her revenge? I own nothing, except my OCs.
1. Pt 1 Rebirth: Spark

**A/N: Hey, hey, hey guys! For those of you who do not know, this is the sequel to my previous fanfiction, Vision of Happiness. I** _ **highly**_ **recommend you go read that first if you have not already, as nothing in this fic will make sense otherwise.**

 **For those of you who have followed me here from VOH, thank you! I hope I surprised you, and I hope you enjoy this continuation. I will warn you guys, this first chapter is going to be a bit of a recap. But please stick with me. I will answer your questions. :)**

 **As always, please review! I love hearing from you guys. It makes my day, and it helps me improve on the story.**

 **And now! Without any further ado, to Camelot. (It's literally been only three days, but I've missed typing that.)**

* * *

"Merlin," Adri smiled through happy tears. "Come and meet your daughter."

Merlin put a shaky hand over his mouth, tears shimmering in his eyes. He slowly moved towards the bed. He perched on the side of it, gazing down at the tiny babe. She was red face, blue eyes wide. The crown of her head was covered with soft black curls. Merlin smiled broadly, gasping as tears trickled down his face. He reached out a hand, gently caressing his daughter's face.

Then he jolted back, leaping away from the baby as if burned.

"Merlin?" Adri asked, concern evident in her tired voice.

"No." Merlin whispered, horror in his voice. He reached up, gripping his hair. "No, no, no!"

"Merlin?" Arthur frowned at the warlock.

"Merlin, what's the matter?" Adri demanded. "Why…"

"It can't be. It can't be, it just can't." Merlin was almost hyperventilating now. "No. No, she can't be…" _._

"Merlin, you're scaring me," Adri pleaded softly.

"That's...she's…"

"What, Merlin? Our daughter?" _._

"She's not our daughter!" Silence filled the room. Adri's mouth was open in horror. Gwen gaped at Merlin. Arthur's eyebrows had disappeared into his hairline.

"Merlin...mate…"

"Merlin, _what_ could you possibly…" _._

"That is not our daughter!" Merlin roared. "She is...she's a punishment! Fate, fighting back! I never thought...I never thought it'd be _her_ …"

"Merlin, explain yourself. Now." Adri's voice was hard as stone.

"The dead do not always stay dead," Merlin murmured agonizingly. His features twisted with pain and disgust. "I...I wrest destiny from its course. And now it's punishing me...a realm of misery…"

"Merlin!"

"Don't you _understand?_ " Merlin was shouting now, hysterical. "It's happening all over again! It's starting over, back at the beginning! The seer was right!"

"Merlin, calm down!"

"I've unleashed a terror back on the world…in that child…"

"Merlin, she's our _daughter!_ " Adri was crying.

"That is not our daughter!" Merlin roared. "Can't you feel it? Can't you feel her magic? That is not our child! That...that is Morgana Pendragon!"

"Merlin!" Adri shrieked.

"Merlin, calm down," Gwen ordered.

"Adri, can't you feel it?" Merlin's gaze was frantic. "You've felt been near Morgana, can't you feel it? That's Morgana's magic! That's why I couldn't feel her, Fate was hiding her from me!"

"Merlin, calm down!" Arthur gripped his shoulders. Merlin shoved him, but Arthur's hands only tightened on his thin shoulders. "MERLIN!"

The whiplash crack of authority in Arthur's voice cut through Merlin's hysteria. The familiar tone snapped Merlin's eyes to Arthur's. Arthur nodded reassuringly, releasing the warlock.

"At Avalon. The Sidhe said that Fate would fight back, that I would unleash something back on the world till all was put right. The Watcher said that Destiny was going to play with the balance of Life and Death. For Destiny to be put right, Arthur has to die at Camlann by Mordred's hand. And Morgana has to ally with Mordred for him to do that. That was Fate."

"But Arthur didn't die at Camlann." Adri's voice was cold. "So you think _Fate_ brought Morgana back. As our _daughter_."

A bit of desperation entered Merlin's eyes again. "Adri, please…"

"No, Merlin!" Her shout was raw, animalistic. "I can't do this! This…" Tears rose in Adri's eyes. "This is our _child._ How can you...how…"

"Adri, feel her magic. Please, just…" He stepped forward, reaching out a hand towards the baby.

"DO NOT touch her!" Adri snapped.

"Adri, I know you can feel it!" Merlin's gaze turned icy. "Stop denying it!"

"Stop this, Merlin!" Adri almost screeched.

Merlin's jaw set. "Then explain to me, why, with the two of us screaming, she hasn't cried _at all._ " Adri glanced down at her daughter, who slept peacefully against her chest.

"That doesn't mean anything!"

"Morgana thrived on chaos, Adri! She…"

"Do you even hear yourself?"

"You know I'm right, you can feel it!"

"Merlin…" Arthur's voice broke in warningly.

"She's still our _child!_ " Adri was sobbing now.

"Our child?" Merlin asked disbelievingly. "I _stabbed_ Morgana through the stomach. How could you ever think _that_ is our child? She should have stayed dead…"

"STOP!" A wave of magic shot out as Adri's eyes lit gold. Merlin's eyes flashed gold as he raised a shield around himself, Arthur, and Gwen.

The babe smiled in her sleep.

* * *

 _One year later…_

"Where's the little one?"

Adri glanced up from her where she swept a rough wooden floor. An older woman, hair streaked with more grey than black, had entered the tiny farmer's cottage. She smiled.

"Asleep. Wore herself out trying to learn to walk."

The other woman smiled, hanging her shawl on peg by the door. "There was a letter in the tree."

Adri tensed. "From Merlin?"

"Always. I must say, his magic makes receiving news from Camelot much easier than going there." Adri hummed noncommittally, ignoring her companion's piercing look. "He's still looking for you."

"Good. That means he still doesn't know where I am." Her voice was tinged with resentment.

"He said your family is growing worried as well."

"I contacted Raya. They know I'm safe. Just not where I am." Adri turned, placing the broom in the corner and rubbing her hands down her coarse apron.

"The festival's coming up."

"I appreciate your concern. Truly." Adri shot her a small smile. "But it's for the best that Merlin never know where I am."

"Adri...surely…"

"Hunith. Please." Adri gave her mother-in-law a pleading look. Hunith sighed.

"He misses you."

"It's for the best."

"Very well. I will keep my word. I'll not tell him you're here."

"Thank you."

"But I wish you would."

"I can't do that." She smiled sadly. "I am sorry."

"I know, dear." Hunith stroked her cheek gently. A soft whine was heard from farther in the house. Adri turned, moving towards the crib her daughter lay in. The little girl blinked up at her. Despite the brilliant blue eyes she had been born with, as she grew older they had lightened into a soft, meadow green. Adri smiled softly, sweeping the babe into her arms. The child lay her head against her mother's shoulder tiredly. Adri kissed her raven curls, reminded strongly of her daughter's father as she laid her cheek against the soft locks.

"Don't worry, darling. Your father's never going to see us again. I'll make sure of that."


	2. Parents

**A/N: What's up guys? Hope you guys like this new chapter! As always, please review! You'll notice these are a bit short. I hope they'll get longer as I get further in the story. Also, a little bit of self promotion: if you like my work, please check out my website for info on my new NOVEL coming out next year. Link is on my profile.**

 **Iamamuffin: Thank you! I hope you like this one. I've got...a bit up my sleeve. ;)**

 **MusicalsandMordred: Yay, you're back! Thank you! I hope you like this update. And yes, will answer that question.**

 **Gibichan: Thank you! I'm sorry I have made your heart hurt, but I'm glad you can sympathize with the characters. I hope you like this one!**

 **And now, without any further ado, back to our irregularly scheduled programming.**

* * *

 _One year ago…_

"She's still our _child!_ " Adri was sobbing now.

"Our child?" Merlin asked disbelievingly. "I _stabbed_ Morgana through the stomach. How could you ever think _that_ is our child? She should have stayed dead…"

"STOP!" A wave of magic shot out as Adri's eyes lit gold. Merlin's eyes flashed gold as he raised a shield around himself, Arthur, and Gwen.

The babe smiled in her sleep.

Arthur grabbed the back of Merlin's shirt, pulling him out of the room.

"Gwen!" Merlin protested.

"She'll be fine." Arthur threw Merlin down the hall forcefully. Merlin stumbled, turning to glare at Arthur.

"What do you think you're doing?"

Merlin's glare deepened. "I'm trying to protect you, and this kingdom, and my family."

"That baby _is_ your family, Merlin!"

"Morgana is no family of mine!"

"What if that's not Morgana? What if you're wrong, hmm? What if you've grown so paranoid that…"

"You think I'm crazy? That's rich coming from you, Arthur."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"How many times? _How many times_ didn't you listen to me?"

"Merlin…"

"You think that I would make this accusation if I wasn't sure?" Merlin's voice was filled with quiet rage. "You think I want this? If I could turn a blind eye, I would, but every time I've done that in the past, every time I've done that with _her,_ it ends in death and destruction."

Arthur held up a hand. "Alright. Alright, say she is Morgana. That still doesn't change the fact that she's your daughter, Merlin."

"And she was your sister, but that didn't stop her from killing your father."

"Merlin. Stop."

The two men looked away from each other a long moment.

"The fact remains," Arthur finally began, "she's here, and she's your child."

"She's no child of mine."

"But she is, Merlin."

"So I raise her? Watch her grow up, knowing what she'll do?"

"You beat Fate once again. Maybe this is your chance to do it for her."

"Fighting Fate is what got us in this mess!"

"But Morgana's fate's already been fulfilled. Hasn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Morgana's already done her part. It's Mordred who had his destiny thwarted."

"But Mordred needs Morgana."

"We don't know that."

"After everything the seers said, everything she's done, you'd take that risk?"

"I'd take that risk because she's your daughter, Merlin."

Merlin's face crumpled ever so slightly. "I don't know how to be a father to her, Arthur. I couldn't...to know...why can't for once…" Arthur drew his friend into his arms. They stood there silently for a long moment, Merlin crying silently.

"I'm sorry, Merlin. I'm sorry this is your burden to bear. If I could…"

Merlin drew back. "Arthur, it's not your fault."

Arthur sighed. "If I were dead…"

"Arthur. Don't."

Arthur opened his mouth when the door opened behind him. Gwen stepped out.

"She's asleep." Gwen gave Merlin a reproachful look. "You need to speak to her, after you've both rested." Merlin nodded, sighing. Tomorrow would be a long day.

* * *

 _Present. In Caerleon…_

"Merlin?" Arthur glanced over at Court Sorcerer with an impatient glance. "Merlin!"

"Forgive me, sire. You were saying?"

Arthur barely kept a sarcastic quip from slipping past his lips. In the time since Adri had left, Arthur had watched his friend digress into the shell of a man he had been after Avalon. Even Pippa, Rowan, Nissa, and Galin had failed to bring their uncle out of his gloom. Merlin had grown...cold.

"We were discussing the revision on the laws regarding the selling of magical wares." Arthur glanced over at Caerleon's council. The two of them had come to Caerleon almost three months ago after an outbreak of illegal magic and supposed magic attacks. It was rare for both of them to come to Caerleon, but the situation demanded it.

"I believe I presented the suggested revision already, your Majesty."

"Yes. I was asking if you agreed we should go ahead and vote," Arthur prompted.

"Indeed, I believe…" Merlin broke off as the warning bells sounded. Arthur stood quickly. Roland entered the council chambers.

"Sire! We believe there is an assassin in the palace," Roland reported breathlessly. "We found three guards dead of magical means."

"And we were brought here because of magic issues." Arthur exchanged a look with Merlin.

"Sire, we must get you somewhere safe."

"Roland, escort the lords through to the great hall, have the guards accompany you."

"Arthur…" Merlin's voice spoke warning.

"The assassin is most likely coming after me. I won't put them in danger," Arthur explained softly, firmly.

"This way, my lords." Roland motioned to the council members. Merlin was now glaring at Arthur.

"Can you feel him?" Arthur asked, ignoring the glare. Merlin closed his eyes for a minute.

"No," he finally said.

"Could he be using magic to hide himself from you?"

"Possibly. It's more likely he's not very powerful. However…"

"Merlin!" Arthur cried out in warning. Merlin's eyes flashed as he called up a shield around Arthur and himself. But the shield only wrapped itself around Arthur. Merlin's expression showed his confusion as two arrows slammed into him from behind.

* * *

 _Present. In Camelot…_

Pippa stood before the mirror, arms extended as the seamstress measured her hem. She was being fitted for a silk gown, a dress meant for a fine lady. Gwen smiled at her eldest daughter. Nissa was watching intently, a doll cradled in her arms.

"You look beautiful, Pippa." The eleven year old glanced over her shoulder, smiling at her mother.

"Mama, I wanna dress like Pippa!" Nissa demanded.

Gwen laid a hand on the little girl's head. "You're going to have to get a little bigger before you can have a dress like that, darling." Nissa stuck out her lip, crossing her arms tighter over her doll. Pippa watched her in the mirror.

"Maybe we can make a dress for your doll out of the scraps," Pippa suggested to her little sister.

"Yes!" Nissa crowed. Gwen smiled.

"Look at you." Gwen moved to grip Pippa's shoulders. "When did you get so big?" Pippa smiled, leaning back against her mother. She opened her mouth to answer when her eyes rolled back in her head, her knees giving way.

"Pippa!" Gwen caught her. She pulled her daughter back against her lap, kneeling on the floor. "Fetch Alice!" Gwen ordered the seamstress.

"Of course, Your Majesty!"

"Pippa." Nissa's voice quavered. She crept closer, tears welling in her eyes.

"Pippa. Darling, wake up! Pippa!"

Pippa groaned, her eyelids fluttering open. "Mommy…"

"I'm here, darling. I'm here." Gwen sighed, running a hand over her daughter's forehead. Nissa crouched beside them, childishly patting Pippa's arm.

"Vision…" Pippa groaned. Gwen bit her lip. Pippa's seer's gift and magical abilities had only grown stronger the older she had gotten. Sometimes particularly strong visions struck her now during the middle of the day.

"What did you see?" Gwen asked gently.

Pippa looked up quickly. "Uncle Merlin's in trouble."


	3. Choices

**A/N: Well hello everyone. I know it's been a bit. Hopefully this will make up for it.**

 **MusicalsandMordred: I know, it kills me to write all of this. Yet at the same time...but we'll see. I hope you like where I'm taking this one.**

 **NerdGirlAlert: So glad to see you back! Hope you like this one!**

 **And now without further ado, to Camelot.**

* * *

 _One year ago. In Camelot…_

Pippa woke up with a scream. Her breath came in gasps. She threw off her covers, running to the door. She stumbled slightly as she ran to her parents' room.

"Daddy! Daddy!"

Arthur and Gwen jolted awake at their daughter's scream.

"Princess, what's wrong?"

"You've got stop them!"

"Stop who?"

"Uncle Merlin and Aunt Adri!"

"What happened? Pippa, slow down. Explain what's…

"No! The...the vision."

"What vision, darling?"

"The vision. When Aunt Adri first came. The one where she fought Uncle Merlin. I saw it again. You've got to stop them, they're going to kill each other!"

"Darling, you…"

"No! If you don't go now, they're going to kill each other! Now!"

* * *

Adri groaned as she awoke. Her entire body ached. The events of the day night before came flooding back to her. She sat up quickly, scanning the room. A figure stood in the gloom of early morning, leaning over a cradle.

"Merlin!" Adri's voice cut the silence like a knife.

"She's so small." Merlin's voice was solemn.

Adri stood slowly. "All babies are." Her voice was still cold.

"Still. To think she will grow to be... _her_ …"

"Merlin. You will stop referring to our _daughter_ as Morgana. This absurdity has got to stop."

"And you've got to stop denying what you know to be true."

Adri scoffed. "I know that your paranoia has finally turned you against your own flesh and blood! I know that you're concern for Arthur has finally driven you mad!" Merlin's form tensed. Adri knew she had struck a blow. One that was all the more painful for having been inflicted by her. They were silent for a long time. Adri took the baby in her arms. Merlin watched her as she shushed and rocked the infant, walking away from him.

"What do you suggest we do?" Merlin finally croaked.

"I suggest we put this behind us, and move forward as a family." Adri bit her lip, tears rising in her eyes. "But you can't do that, can you?"

"I...I don't know."

"You can't love her, can you?"

"I...Adri, you don't know what she _did…_ "

"She's done nothing to you, Merlin!" Desperation colored her voice. "She's a baby! _Our_ baby!"

"It's her, Adri! I know you can feel her magic!"

Adri bit down harder on her lip. They were silent for a long moment.

"The Watcher. Did you never wonder why he called me Mischief-Maker?"

Merlin glanced at her in surprise, but stayed silent.

"It is my name, according to my fate. Like the names Emrys and the Once and Future King. I was Mischief-Maker. Because I was supposed to cause mischief. To create chaos, throw things into disarray in Camelot. And finally, I was supposed to be the spark that would light the fires of Camelot's destruction." Adri took a shaky breath. "I suppose we know why now. Because I gave birth to…" She sobbed slightly, pressing a hand to her mouth. "She's still our child, Merlin! I don't care if...if she grows into Morgana. She's still our daughter!"

"I cannot raise a child I will always be looking at a threat. I can't live under that strain, forever waiting for her to rise against us. It's inevitable she will. You know that."

"So what? You'll send us away? I won't leave her, Merlin. You may be able to deny any paternal affection for her, but I love that child because she's ours. I won't give her up."

"I can't send you away." Merlin's voice was filled with pain. "She has to be watched. If she shows any signs of...of becoming...she'll have to be stopped."

"You'll kill her?" Adri asked, horrified. "Merlin, she's your daughter!"

"She's not my child!"

Adri's features hardened. "Then am I not your wife?"

Merlin turned, meeting her gaze. His expression was pained. "Adri, please…"

"No. You've made your choice, _Emrys_. Now live with the consequences of it."

Pippa screamed.

Adri's eyes glowed gold.

Merlin roared, eyes flashing.

A shield wrapped around Adri as she cradled her child closer to her chest.

Arthur and Gwen burst inside just in time to see them disappear in a rising column of smoke and wind.

Two tears trailed down Merlin's face.

* * *

 _Present. In Ealdor…_

Hunith smiled at her daughter-in-law, watching her knead bread dough.

"Look at you," she murmured.

Adrianne looked up, raising an eyebrow "What?"

"You've come so far. Learned so much in your stay here."

Adri half-smiled. "Raya would be proud. Cooking, cleaning, even doing my own sewing." She folded the bread dough, leaning into the kneading. "My mother would be appalled."

Hunith smiled. "Well, I am very proud of you."

Adri's smile grew wider. "Thank you. I'm...quite proud of myself, if I'm honest."

"You should be."

Adri tensed, eyes glowing gold.

Hunith glanced at her. "What is it?"

"Someone's come through my wards. Someone from Camelot." She turned, wiping the flour off her hands. She swept her daughter up into her arms from where the toddler was playing with a rag doll on the floor.

"Are you sure?"

"If there is one thing I am sure of, it's my shields. Someone who knew me from Camelot is in Ealdor."

"Merlin?"

"No. I could feel his magic if Emrys were here."

Hunith frowned at the use of her son's Druid name by his own wife, but she did not mention it. "I'll go see who it is, then." She stepped out the door, making sure to close it behind her.

Adri shushed the toddler, moving to the window. She cast a quick shield around herself and the child. It was a simple ward shield, making sure she would not be recognized or noticed. It was one from her spell books, one Merlin had helped her learn and perfect.

A party of three knights in distinctive Camelot red rode towards the house. The villagers watched with curiosity, coming out to line the muddy street.

"Lady Hunith," one knight greeted, dismounting. Adri sighed slightly. Even if she hadn't recognized him, the lack of sleeves would have told her who it was: Percival.

"Sir Percival. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"It's Merlin, my lady. He's been badly injured." Percival hesitated. "You need to come."

Hunith pressed a hand to her mouth. "What...what happened?"

"He was protecting Arthur."

"How...what…"

"Alice...Alice says it doesn't look good. It is as if...he's no longer trying to fight. As if he doesn't want to live anymore. She hopes...perhaps your voice can remind him to fight."

"It is not mine he needs," Hunith murmured. She turned to look back at the house, brow furrowed.

"Lady Adrianne still has not been found," Percival replied softly.

"I was never lost, old friend." Percival's head snapped up. His gaze softened in awe and shock. His eyes traveled over the babe in her arms before going back to her face.

"My lady." Percival bowed his head. "Your husband...Merlin's dying, my lady." He hesitated, looking up at her. "Will you come to him?"

Adri swallowed, raising her head. "My daughter comes to no harm."

"Adrianne." Percival's gaze hardened. "Under no circumstances would I ever allow your child to be harmed. That I swear to you, upon my loyalty to King Arthur. No one in Camelot wishes you ill, and especially not your child."

Adri's gaze softened, ever so slightly. "Where is Merlin?"

"Caerleon."

* * *

 _Past. Far from Albion…_

Far in the north, a white dragon raised her head.* She had waited a long time since foreseeing this moment. She growled deep in her throat, shaking her head in pleasure. She hobbled outside of her cave, crippled, clawed feet sinking into deep snow. She raised her wings, taking off into the sky.

Finally, after all this time. Her beloved mistress had returned.

* * *

 ***Okay, so a bit of creative license here. I have never seen consistency with whether or not Aithusa is male or female, but personally I prefer fics with Aithusa as a female. So, female Aithusa is. ;)**


	4. Reunion

**A/N: Hey guys! I'm alive. I've had a bit of writer's block on this particular project. I'm trying to move on to things I already have planned, but first. Well, first other things have to happen and I am not sure how I want to do them yet. But! Forward we must go, so new chapter! I hope you guys like this one.**

 **MusicalsandMordred: I try. I truly do. Hope you like this one! ;)**

 **And without further ado, on to our irregularly scheduled programming.**

* * *

Adrianne fastened her pack. It was filled with what clothes she and her daughter had. She had another pack with food and waterskins.

"Adri." Hunith pursed her lips in concern.

"He'll be alright, Hunith."

"And you plan to leave again when he is?"

Adri bit her lip, shoulders slumping. "I don't know." Her voice was a whisper. Tears gathered in her eyes.

"I know my son, Adrianne. I am sure he wants nothing more than to have you back in his life."

Adri's smile was pained. "But what about her?"

"Dear…"

"It matters not." Adri withdrew from Hunith's comforting hand. "I will do my duty to him, as a wife. Then I will do my duty as a mother."

"I am not coming with you."

Adri looked up at her in surprise. "Are you...are you certain? What...what if…"

"He needs _you_ , dear. And I fear I will only get in the way...when he recovers, he will want to heal your relationship. I do not want to impede that."

"Hunith…"

"Go to him. And when he tells you he loves you...believe him."

This time Adri did not fight Hunith's embrace. Hunith held her face between her hands for a moment before kissing her brow. Then she bent, kissing her granddaughter's cheeks before handing her to her mother. They both turned as Percival entered the house.

"Are you ready, my lady?"

"Yes." Adri sighed a little to herself. Percival took her packs, walking out to where a horse waited for her. The other knights were already mounted. Adri froze as she saw the horse. It was a gelding she had ridden many times with Merlin. She turned accusing eyes on Percival.

"You knew I was here."

Percival hesitated only slightly. "Queen Guinevere suspected."

Adri's glare was heated. "There is one more thing I need before we leave." She closed her eyes, feeling with her mind. She wouldn't be far.

"Adrianne…," Percival asked confusedly after several moments of silence. Adri smiled suddenly.

"She's coming."

The hard _chop_ of wings slicing through the air, and Aithusa landed before the knights.

"Dragon!" A knight cried, reaching for a spear. Screams rang out through the village.

"STOP!" Adri's eyes flashed gold, freezing the knights' hands. "She's a friend!"

Percival stared at Adri in wonder. "You have had quite the adventure, haven't you?"

Adri smirked. "You have no idea." She turned to the dragon. Aithusa chirped, eyeing the knights distrustfully.

"We should be on our way," Percival broke the tense silence. "May I take the child while you mount?"

Aithusa growled at the suggestion. Adri silenced her with a look, letting Percival take her daughter. He smiled tenderly at the toddler, reassuring her softly. Adri mounted quickly and took her daughter back in her arms. Percival mounted his own horse.

"Move out!"

* * *

It was a good week's ride from Ealdor to Caerleon. Adri's worry grew with each passing day. According to Percival, Merlin had been injured over a fortnight before Percival had even set out for Ealdor. It had been almost six weeks by the time they arrived in Caerleon.

 _He could be dead_ , Adri thought as they rode into Caerleon's courtyard. Something hard and cold settled in her stomach. She did not trust Merlin. Merlin had broken her heart and threatened her child. But he had had the power to do so because she had loved him.

And he had the power to continue doing so because she couldn't stop loving him.

She stood at the bottom of the stairs to the castle, holding her daughter.

"Inform the king we have arrived," Percival ordered the knights. He laid a hand on Adri's shoulder. "I'll take you to him."

Adri nodded gratefully. She followed him up into the castle, through the stone halls, to a guest chamber. Percival knocked softly on the door.

"Come in."

He pushed open the door, holding it open for her. She smiled nervously at him, then entered the room.

The sight of Merlin, still and asleep on the bed, hit her with a wave of relief, panic, and a pain that spread through her heart.

Had it really only been a year?

It felt like a lifetime.

"Adri!"

Her eyes lighted on the other figure in the room. Her heart sank and soared simultaneously: Guinevere.

The Queen's face lit up in a relieved smile. She strode across the room and wrapped Adri in a hug.

Whatever Adri had feared Guinevere's reaction to be, she immediately forgot. She returned the embrace, burying her face in Gwen's supporting shoulder and fighting back tears.

The Queen held her at arm's length, smiling at her. Then she turned her eyes to the child in Adri's arms.

"Hello, little one. I'm your Aunt Gwen. Oh, Adri, she's beautiful!"

Adri choked back a sob. "How...how is he?"

Gwen's face sobered. "Fading. No one knows why. When it first happened, Arthur had Alice and the entire family come as quickly as possible. She has done what she can for his injuries. They were severe, but with magic and time, his body is healing. But he barely has the strength to eat. He sleeps, mostly. Alice thinks that his spirit is broken. In his mind, he doesn't want to get better." Gwen smiled sadly. "Perhaps now that you're here, you can change that."

"I can try, but…" Adri hesitated. Gwen squeezed her hand.

"Why don't you see if he'll recognize you? I can take your daughter to play with Nissa and Galin."

Adri bit her lip, the nodded. "Go with Auntie Gwen, darling. Mama will be there in a moment." The toddler fussed slightly as Gwen took her, but Adri reassured her with a kiss. Gwen smiled, leaving the room. Adri could hear the child crying for her mother when the door closed, but she knew she couldn't have Merlin seeing her.

She buried her face in her hands. Merlin. What was she going to say to him? What would he say? What if her being here only upset him more? What…

Tears streamed down her face as she gripped her hair in desperation. She couldn't do this. She couldn't face him again. Not after all that happened. All that he did to her…

But he was dying.

She wiped her eyes, squaring her shoulders. She walked timidly to the bed, pulling up a chair and sitting at the side of it. She slowly, shakily took his pale hand in hers.

"Merlin." A beat. She rubbed his hand. "Merlin, it's time to wake up. Merlin, can you hear me? Merlin? It's Adrianne. Merlin?"

A soft groan, and cool grey-blue eyes flickered open to meet hers. She stood, moving better into his line of sight.

"Adri…" he murmured. "Oh, Adri…"

"Shh, shh. It's alright. I'm here."

"H-how?"

"Percival fetched me."

"Where's...daughter?"

"She's with Gwen, and Nissa and Galin."

Merlin was silent for a long time, staring at her. A tear trembled in his eye. Adri bit her lip. Oh those eyes...those eyes that had looked on her with such love and kindness, with forgiveness and compassion, with fear and fierce protection…

With anger and desperation.

He whispered something but she couldn't hear him.

"What?" She bent closer to his lips.

"What's her name? What...what is our child's name?"

Her heart broke, sinking to her feet. She swallowed hard, smiling sadly. Tears streamed down her face.

"Calina. Her name's Calina."


	5. Chance

**A/N: I'm back! Look at that. Thank you all for the lovely reviews! Keep them coming, they're the best encouragement to keep going. I am listening to lovely Hamilton while I write, and I'm finding the ties between Merlin and the song "Wait for It" too painful to not inspire me.**

 **MusicalsandMordred: ...Maybe this chapter will help?**

 **OechsnerC: We shall see...and hello! Thank you for the review. Hope you like this one!**

 **Ninagayler: Thanks! Await no more. :)**

 **And now, for the love of Camelot!**

* * *

Merlin awoke slowly. Voices filtered in as he fought to pry his eyes open.

"Heartbeat...stronger today...perhaps when she...he may...on the mend…"

"Adri." The word slipped past his lips breathily. It felt like a feather on his tongue, too light to be real and too desperate to be hope.

"Shh…"

"Adri." Merlin's eyes opened. They focused in on a pale face with chestnut hair and shimmering blue eyes.

"Shh...here, love." Her voice was barely a whisper.

Merlin smiled slightly. "Not...a dream…" His eyes slipped shut again. He groaned a bit, wrenching them back onto his wife's precious, oh so very precious, form.

"You...you came back to me…"

"Don't talk right now." Adri's voice seemed forced. Or was it shaking? He couldn't tell. He peered at her, trying to see if she was crying. "You need to rest. You have to get well."

"...for you…"

* * *

Arthur entered Merlin's chambers quietly. Adri was sitting by Merlin's bed.

"How is he today?"

Adri turned towards him. "Sire." She made to stand.

"Don't. It's Arthur to you, Adri."

Adri almost smiled. They hadn't spoken much since she had returned. But Arthur had made sure to make it clear to her that she and Calina were safe and welcomed. She had never been more grateful for her brother-in-law than when he crouched before her toddling daughter, kissed her hand, and introduced himself as "Uncle Arthur." He had then presented her with a new doll, and Calina had loved him ever since.

"Alice says his heartbeat is stronger today. She sounded hopeful."

"Good." Arthur sighed. "Idiot." It was meant to be scoffing, but came out as fond and anxious.

"What happened, exactly, Arthur?"

The blond king dragged a hand across his face. "There was an assassin. Merlin tried a shield spell to block the arrows, but it only wrapped around me."

"They never were his specialty." She sighed ruefully. "Always protecting others. Always protecting you."

Arthur glanced at her piercingly. Was that an accusation in her voice? "No matter the cost to himself, you mean."

"He would do anything for you."

"And you."

Adri shook her head, a cynical smile on her face. "That might have been true once. It is no longer."

"You know he didn't go after you. Not at first."

Adri turned to face him again, an eyebrow arched in question.

"He decided that it was best to let you go. That it was your choice." Arthur gave her a look. "He let you go because he thought you could raise her best without him. He thought he would always be afraid of her, and therefore wouldn't make a good father. I've only seen Merlin truly terrified a few times in my life. Once, was when he thought he was going to lose you. The other was when he realized he had his greatest enemy back as his daughter. He was so afraid of loving her and failing her, of having her turn into _that_ again. He was afraid of being hurt by her _because he loved her._ He couldn't watch her become that again. And he thought she had a better chance of not becoming that if he and his fear were not there to influence her."

Adri shook her head. "He's never loved my daughter. I saw the way he looked at her. With desperation and fear, yes, but not love. He's terrified of a future that may never come to pass. He's paranoid of…" She turned away, biting her lip.

"He loves you both. Adri...I saw Merlin heal in so many ways when you came into his life. And I watched him break, again, when you left. Can you not find it in your heart to give him a second chance? To love him?"

"Tell me." Adri's voice was cold. "What would you do to someone who threatened the life of your child?"

Arthur swallowed. He looked away. They both knew the answer to that question.

"So you see, Arthur. I love Merlin, dearly. But I do not trust him. Not with my heart, and certainly not with my child. There are many things I can forgive him for, but that is not one of them. How can I be with someone I cannot trust? How can I let him see his daughter, when I have the memory of his words calling my daughter a threat?"

"I know what it is to lose trust in the one you love. But sometimes all is not what it appears to be. Just be sure that that trust is completely lost before you deny yourself his love. And before you deny your daughter her father."

* * *

It was another week before Merlin was able to sit up in bed. He tired easily, but his wounds had nearly healed. Alice pronounced him recovering, stating all he needed was rest.

He and Adri rarely spoke. She tended him quietly, and he drank in any sight of her.

There were other guests as well. Arthur. Gwen. Rowan. Pippa. Nissa. Even little Galin had been brought in by Gwen to give "Unkel Lin" a sloppy toddler's kiss and a bright smile.

But never Calina.

Merlin didn't ask. He knew Adri was extending an olive branch by even being in the same room with him. Asking to see his daughter was too much.

And if that thought kept him up at night or brought tears to his eyes...well, that was just the way things were.

But after another week, when he was finally allowed out of bed and to walk on his own, even with a staff, he decided enough was enough.

"Are we not going to talk?" He watched Adri tense at his words. "About what happened?"

Adri turned slowly from the table. It was coming on winter in Caerleon. Merlin was sitting beside a warm fire. Adri had brought him lunch. It had become their ritual.

"And what," she asked slowly, "is there to talk about? You made your position quite clear."

Merlin swallowed hard. He looked down at his hands. "I was wrong." Adri was silent. "I...I was scared, to be a father to her. It broke my heart that...my actions brought her back. That...if she turned out to be just like Morgana, it would be my fault. That I would have...failed my child, and my family, and that every pain she inflicted one day...it would all be on me." Merlin risked a glance at his wife. "But Adri, she's still my child. You were right about that. I have a duty to her to be her father. I...I thought she'd be safer without me, without my fear, but I can't...I can't do this anymore." He sighed heavily. "It's not an easy situation."

"You don't think I know that?" Adri's voice was sharp. "You don't think that I haven't stared into her eyes, and _wondered_. You don't think that I haven't been burdened by the knowledge of who she is, who she was, who she can become? But I still loved her, and I still stood by her, because it was the right thing to do and because she is _mine. Ours._ I didn't let my fear and paranoia cause me to lose everything."

Merlin winced. "I know. You...you always have been stronger than me."

They were silent a long moment.

"I watched you, you know."

Adri frowned in confusion.

"It took me...months, to find you. I didn't...you had your reasons for leaving, and they were right, and I wasn't going to force you back. And...I thought Calina...would be better off without me. Without me...wondering. But I wanted to know you were safe. I tried scrying you, but your shields wouldn't let me. I contacted your family, but they knew nothing. Then...about six months ago...I scryed my mother. And I saw you." Merlin looked up at her, tears glistening in his eyes. "You were nursing Calina. You smiled down at her with such _love_ in your eyes, and I...I realized what I had let my fear take from me." He drew a breath. "I watched her learn to crawl, I watched her play, I watched you rock her to sleep. And I...I wanted _so much_ to be a part of that, but…"

"That 'but' will keep you from her for the rest of your life, Merlin."

"I know."

A breath of silence. "She's not Morgana."

Merlin sighed. "Adri…"

"She has Morgana's magic. She has the potential to become Morgana, but any child has the potential to become something terrible. She even looks like Morgana. But she doesn't have Morgana's memories. I know. Merlin, I searched her mind, many times. She doesn't have Morgana's memories. She's a new person, her own person. And yes, if she chooses the wrong path...then we'll have no choice but to stop her." Adri swallowed. "But she's just a baby, now. We can raise her to make good choices. We are her second chance. But you pushed her away without even considering…"

"I know. Adri, I want to make it right." He looked up at her, tears streaming down his face. "Will you let me try?"

Adri stared at him for a long moment. "I want to. I want my daughter to have her father. I want to trust you, Merlin...but I don't know if I can." He closed his eyes in pain.

"But...I'm willing to try to let you into her life. But know...I don't trust you yet."

"That...is more than I could have ever hoped for. Thank you."

Adri nodded. They didn't speak of the other question between them, even as it echoed loudly in their ears.

 _What about us?_

* * *

Merlin resisted the urge to pace up and down the room. Adri was letting him see Calina today. He had wanted to see her yesterday, immediately after their conversation. But he knew better than to push.

It had been a long year. A hard year. He had constantly wrestled with his decision to let Adri go. Or in better terms, to push her away. He would dream of her, and his daughter. Sometimes he held the babe in his arms before she was torn away from him. Sometimes Adri whisked her away. Sometimes she cried out for him, and he could not reach her.

Other times, she turned into Morgana and plunged a sword into his gut. He would fall next to Adri's bleeding body while Morgana laughed over them.

Those dreams left him angry and guilty. The ones where his child cried for him left him heartbroken.

He had realized with a jolt that he had never held her. She was over a year old, now. He had lost all chance to ever cradle his infant daughter in his arms.

It made him sick.

A knock at the door woke him from his musing.

"Come." He tensed as the door opened.

Adri entered, a toddler with raven black curls and meadow green eyes perched on her hip.

She took Merlin's breath away.

His daughter. This was his daughter.

She was so big. What had happened to the tiny baby who had lain in a cradle?

The cradle he had made.

Tears sprang to his eyes.

"Calina," Adri was saying, "this is your daddy." And oh how Merlin's heart broke and soared at the word. "Merlin, this is Calina."

"Hello, Calina." His voice quavered slightly. He forced a bright smile. "It's nice to meet you."

Adri sat on a low stool by Merlin's chair. Calina laid her head on Adri's shoulder, sucking her thumb and staring up at Merlin.

"She's beautiful," Merlin murmured.

"That she is."

Merlin noticed something clutched in the toddler's other arm. "What do you have there, Calina?"

The little girl pulled back from her mother a bit, showing the doll she cradled.

"It was a gift from Uncle Arthur," Adri explained.

"Ahh." Merlin tried not to resent the fact that Arthur had seen his daughter before he had. "It's very pretty. Does she have a name?"

Calina did not answer, content to blink up at him.

"Just doll." Adri chuckled."Or 'all'."

Merlin smiled a bit.

Calina pulled her thumb out of her mouth. "Thusa." She announced.

Adri stiffened. "Thusa's not here right now, darling."

Merlin arched an eyebrow at her in question. Adri stayed silent.

"Thusa," Calina demanded again.

"She's out hunting, dear. She'll be back in a little bit."

"Who is Thusa?" Merlin pressed. Adri glanced up at him guardedly.

"Aithusa."

Merlin stared at her, wide eyed. "Aithusa? She's with you? Here?"

"Yes."

"How…"

"She felt... _her_ magic."

"She told you this?"

"She's learned to communicate with her mind. Not words, precisely, but images. Feelings."

Merlin was silent for a long moment.

"Thusa!" Calina demanded again, growing fussy.

"Here, Calina." Merlin's eyes flashed gold. A white orb appeared, with an image of Aithusa reflected in it. A memory of the last time he had seen her.

"Thusa!" Calina laughed. Merlin smiled at her.

"And who's this?" The image changed. A smiling picture of Adri appeared.

"Mama!" Calina giggled gleefully. She reached out her hands as if to touch the orb. Merlin guided it closer to her, letting it touch her brow for a moment before it disappeared. She laughed again, the sound bringing smiles to her parents' faces. Merlin conjured three more orbs, one with a picture of Adri, one of Aithusa, and one of Calina herself. He floated them close to the little girl, letting her pet and poke them.

"Thusa," she chuckled again. Suddenly, she reached out her arms to Merlin. Adri looked down at her in poorly concealed surprise. She was not usually so trusting of strangers.

Merlin stared at her for a moment before sweeping her onto his lap. She pulled at his hands as if commanding him to make more of the orbs. He obliged silently, absorbed by the feel of her sitting in his lap. He bent, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. She paid him no heed, her attention fully captured by the magic. He inhaled her scent, committing it to memory. A few tears dropped from his eyes as he looked at Adri.

"Thank you," he mouthed silently. She smiled ever so slightly and nodded.

Maybe, just maybe, they'd be okay.


	6. Beginning

**A/N: What's up guys? Here's a new chapter for you! Hope you all like this one. I'm weirdly energetic at the moment, so whatever this turns out to be, I will blame it on my mental state.**

 **On a more serious note, my prayers are with any and all of you who have gone through Hurricanes Harvey or Irma. May God bless you during this time.**

 **MusicalsandMordred: THANK YOU! I was worried a bit about it. He has had to grow, and that breaks my heart. It's bad enough seeing the differences between him in Season 1 and Season 5, but now I'm writing this where he's gone through even more!**

 **SantaClaws3: My work here is done! :D**

 **Oechsner: Well, I'm not done yet...I'm expecting this one to be about the same length as VOH, so they have plenty of time to heal together...or not, but we'll see. ;)**

 **Ninagayler: Thank you! I'm sorry I almost made you cry, but at the same time that's like the biggest compliment a writer can get. ;)**

 **Acorntree14: Words cannot express how much I love your video. The scene with Gwen and the baby...and Melin's little smile...I almost cried. It was absolutely beautiful! Wonderful job. Thank you so, so very much. I am honored.**

 **And now, on to our irregularly scheduled program. For the love of Camelot!**

* * *

Pippa slipped into the nursery, her dress rustling around her ankles.

"Pippa, look!" Nissa immediately ran to her sister, holding up a small metal cup. "Me and Calina made dinner!"

Pippa smiled, crouching down to take the cup from her little sister. "It smells delicious!" She pretended to sip from the empty cup.

"No! No, hot!" Nissa snatched the cup back. "It'll burn!"

"Ouch!" Pippa played along. "I need some water!" She pretended to fan her mouth. Nissa ran back to the low table in the center of the nursery. Calina watched the interaction wide eyed, clutching her doll to her as usual.

"Here!" Nissa handed Pippa an identical metal cup. "Drink, drink!"

Pippa threw her head back dramatically as she 'drank' from the cup. "Ahh, perfect! That made it better."

"Good." Nissa nodded, satisfied.

"How can I help you, Princess?" Poppy asked, having watched the game with amusement.

Pippa smiled at her old nurse. "Mother wishes to have one last picnic before it grows too cold. She's even managed to convince Father. I was to come get Nissa."

"A picnic?" Nissa squealed, jumping up and down. "Can Calina come too?"

"I don't know about that, Princess. You would have to ask your Aunt Adri," Poppy interjected.

"Where is she?" Nissa demanded.

"I don't know, Princess."

"Well, we have to find her!"

"Nissa, maybe we should wait till next time…" Pippa began.

"No! I want Calina to come!"

Pippa sighed. In the few weeks since Adri and Calina had come to the castle, Nissa had fallen in love with Calina. As the child of royalty, Nissa had rarely been around other children, besides her brother and sister. Even though Calina was over two years younger than the little girl, Nissa had immediately bonded with her. Calina had gradually returned the friendship in her own way, though she largely remained quiet and withdrawn around her royal 'cousins'.

"Let's see if we can find her then."

"Princess, are you sure…"

"It'll be alright, Poppy." Pippa smiled reassuringly. "I'll take Calina."

Poppy hesitated, but nodded.

Pippa crouched by the table. "Come, Calina. Let's go see if we can find your mama, alright?"

Calina eyed her for a moment before holding up her arms. Pippa smiled, standing and settling the little girl on her hip. Calina slipped her arms around Pippa's neck, and Pippa's eyes rolled back in her head.

"Princess!" Poppy lunged forward, catching both girls as Pippa's knees gave way. "Pippa! Pippa, are you…"

"I'm alright," Pippa muttered. She stood, locking her knees to keep from swaying. Her grip on Calina tightened. The child had barely moved in her arms, only wrapping her little arms tighter around the back of Pippa's neck.

"It was just a vision," Pippa groaned. Her eyes were wide and her breath came heavily. She swallowed. "I'm fine." She looked up, forcing a smile at Poppy. "I'm fine."

"Princess, you should sit…"

"I'm alright, Poppy, really. Thank you." She smiled brighter. "Come, Nissa, let's go find Aunt Adri."

Poppy frowned anxiously after them as they left the nursery.

When they were out of Poppy's sight, Pippa pressed a kiss to Calina's forehead. _You sweet child._

 _I'm so sorry._

* * *

Adrianne stood on the balcony of one of Caerleon's towers. She had discovered the secluded balcony after first seeing Merlin again. In the week since she had let Merlin see Calina, she retreated to the tower often, away from Guinevere and Arthur's sympathetic eyes, Pippa's slightly accusing looks, and Rowan's awkward, withdrawn silences. Away from Caerleon's court, whispering that she had abandoned her husband. Away from the servants' almost fearful gossip.

Away from Merlin.

She balled her hands into fists, planting them on the cold stone of the balcony wall.

" _Can you see the Dragon constellation?" she asked. Merlin looked at her in surprise. He glanced up, searching the sky._

" _There," he pointed._

" _It's beautiful."_

" _Look there," Merlin pointed towards the west. "The Wildcat."_

" _That one is my favorite," she admitted._

" _Where did you learn of the constellations?"_

" _I spent quite a lot of time among my father's books as a child. One had star charts. I would sneak past my nurse to the tower and find the constellations I read about. Once, there was a guard on the tower. So I climbed to a high gable and crawled out onto the roof. I got into quite a lot of trouble for that, as I recall." Merlin laughed softly._

" _My guardian, Gaius, taught me the stars."_

" _Gaius, the Court Physician?"_

" _Yes."_

" _I am sorry for your loss."_

" _Thank you."_

" _Have you enjoyed Camelot so far?"_

" _Very much. It is a beautiful city. Full of kind people."_

" _I'm glad."_

" _Well, I should be going." A sharp pain surged through her fingers. She had cut them on the stone parapet._

" _Oh, let me see." Merlin's slender fingers were cold against her hands, but infinitely gentle. He murmured a spell and the skin healed to a small scar._

" _Thank you," Adri whispered. Her hand trembled in Merlin's, but he cradled it still._

" _My lady, do you have magic?" His deep voice was quiet, cautious, reverberating in her mind._

Adri shook the memory from her mind. She could almost feel his fingers on her hand, a ghosting touch of reminiscence.

Oh how time had changed the two of them…

So much. So much had come and gone in the past four years. Like the cresting of a wave before it gently fell upon the shore. Like the echo of shattering glass.

"I thought I would find you here."

Adri bit back a groan. She loved Guinevere. Truly. But this was her sanctuary. Her place to hide…

"Merlin likes to hide away in towers when he's wallowing in self-pity, too."

Adri whirled, her chin rising ever so slightly. "I am not wallowing."

"Adri, I know…"

"You _know?_ " Her voice was a hiss. "Tell me, Guinevere, what do you know? Did you give your husband a child, only to have him recoil from her like you'd given him a _monster_? Do you have to face him every day as if he didn't break your heart? As if he didn't take everything you had and crush it? As if your twice-forsaken _destiny_ hadn't cursed the two of you to forever be fighting the same battle over and over again?"

"Adrianne."

Adri felt the wind cool the tears on her cheeks. She hadn't felt them fall.

Guinevere drew her brows together, a cold regality falling about her shoulders like a mantle. "You are not the only one to experience heartbreak. To have a wedge driven between you and the one you love. Nor are you the first to fight destiny's curse. Arthur _banished_ me. I found it impossible to forgive myself. And when he forgave me anyway, I found myself forever looking into his eyes, waiting for him to change his mind. But I fought for my marriage and for my love. I have faced losing him a thousand times over, and I know very well what destiny has planned for him. Yet I still fight. Because he is my husband and the father of my children, and he is worth it. Now tell me, Adrianne. Is Merlin worth it to you?"

Adrianne's lip trembled. "It is not that simple."

"It is very simple. Love is the most powerful thing there is. And no matter what comes between the two of you, you fight to overcome it. Because love is worth it."

Adri's shoulder slumped, tears running down her face. She closed her eyes. "I'm...I'm sorry, Gwen." She felt arms wrap around her shoulders and sobbed harder. Gwen shushed her quietly, holding her. They stood like that for several minutes before Adri pulled away.

"Thank you," she murmured sheepishly.

Gwen smiled kindly. "What are sisters for?" Adri returned the smile, wiping her face.

"Why don't you come on a picnic with us? All of us, together as a family."

"I...I should go see Merlin. He shouldn't be out…"

Gwen's smile broadened. "Alright then." She slipped her arm through Adri's. "Walk with me then? I'll say hello to Merlin, then find where Pippa is with Nissa." Adri nodded, walking with the queen.

They caught sight of Pippa, Nissa, and Calina in the corridor outside Merlin's chambers.

"Aunt Adri!" Nissa ran to her. "Can Calina come on the picnic?"

Adri smiled at the princess. "Maybe not this time. We're going to have dinner with Uncle Merlin. He's not well enough to go on picnics yet."

"Awww." Nissa stuck out her lip in a pout. Gwen brushed back her springy hair from where it fell in the little girl's wide green eyes.

"Maybe next time."

"Alright." Nissa sighed. Adri smiled at her antics. Nissa was a very loving child, with an open, welcoming nature.

Pippa had reached them by this time. Calina reached out to Adri. She smiled, taking her from Pippa's arms.

"Hello, little one. Did you have fun with Nissa and Pippa." Calina only buried her head in Adri's shoulder. She kissed the little girl's forehead, then looked up at Pippa. "Thank you, Pippa." The princess just smiled.

"Well, we should be on our way. Hilda sent cloaks down to the stables…"

"Let's go!" Nissa grabbed Pippa's hand. "Come on, Pippa!" She pulled her down the corridor. Pippa shot her mother an exasperated look over her shoulder, but she smiled as she allowed the little girl to pull her into a run down the corridor. Gwen only laughed. Adri smiled as well. She was glad Gwen let her children be children. It was something most nobles, especially queens, did not allow of their children.

Gwen squeezed Adri's hand. "Good luck." Adri sent her grateful look before watching her friend walk more sedately after her two daughters. Adri drew in a breath before entering Merlin's chambers.

"Merlin?"

The warlock looked up from a spellbook. "Adri." His eyes immediately fell on the child in her arms. He smiled broadly. "Hi Calina."

The toddler immediately stretched out her arms to him. Adri set her on the floor, watching her toddle to the side of Merlin's armchair. His smile grew impossibly wider as he swept her into his arms.

"How are you today? Have you been having fun with Nissa?"

Adri watched him talk to her. She leaned on the back of the armchair opposite him, a smile blossoming on her face as Merlin tickled Calina. The toddler's laugh was exquisitely pure and happy. She cried out for her mother, stretching out her arms even as she laughed with delight. Adri laughed, moving to kneel in front of Merlin and look up at her daughter.

"Mama!" Calina shrieked, trying to lean down towards her mother.

"Me? What do you want me for?" Adri asked, an impish light in her eyes. She took Calina's sock clad foot in her hands, pretending to eat it. Calina laughed in delight, pulling her legs away. Merlin laughed as Calina crawled back towards him, only for him to tickle her.

Calina continued to giggle even after they had stopped tickling her. Adri smiled lovingly up at her. She rose to her feet, bending to plant a kiss on her daughter's forehead. Then she pressed another one to Merlin's brow.

"I'll get a servant to fetch us some dinner, shall I?"

Merlin's stunned expression melted away. "Ye-yes, that'd...that'd be wonderful."

Adri smiled at him, slipping out the door.

It wasn't much. But it was a beginning.


	7. Mending

**A/N: Hey guys! Yup, fast update! This is the last piece of part 1, so I hope you guys enjoy. I've got a lot up my sleeve that I'm really excited to get to. And just because I need it, and because I haven't written any in forever, there's a little bit of Arthur and Merlin brotherhood in this chapter.**

 **MusicalsandMordred: I'm trying, ok? Trying sooooo hard to give you hope. Maybe this will do the trick.**

 **And now! For the love of cheesecake!**

* * *

Merlin stared at the closed door of his study. Had she just…? She had. His forehead tingled, the memory of her lips burning at him.

Calina tugged at his hands. "Thusa!"

He turned his attention to his daughter. _His daughter._ He'd never get tired of that thought. "Aithusa?" His eyes burned gold for a minute as he conjured an image of the dragon in an orb of light. Calina squealed happily, poking the ball. Merlin smiled, watching her. He realized with a jolt that this was the first time he had ever been alone with her.

Calina turned to look up at him, babbling quickly in her baby tongue. Merlin nodded, humming in agreement and drinking in her facial expressions. He caught the words "Thusa" and "Mama" in the gibberish.

She continued to talk as he gently placed a hand on her temple. It was a paranoid impulse, he knew. But he did it anyway.

As she told him her baby story, he searched her memories. Buried, flighty things; images, feelings, sounds, smells. Nothing she could understand. But he could.

 _Hungry. Crying. Adri's face, bending over her. Mama. Tears gathering in Adri's eyes._

" _Darling, I know. I know you're hungry, but you have to wait. Shh, shh." The sensation of being rocked back and forth. Adri's crying eyes above her. "I'm sorry, darling. Just a little bit further. Just a bit further."_

 _A new memory. Cold. Something coarse being wrapped around her._

" _Could you maybe spare some food? I have no money, but…"_

 _A harsh voice._

" _I...I've sold everything I have...but I will work for food, just…"_

 _The voice, turning Adri away._

 _Another memory. Adri, her face lit by the light of a campfire. Sobbing._

" _Shh, please, little one, they'll find us. Please, please, shhh."_

 _Rocking. Crying along with her mother._

" _Merlin, how could you do this to me?"_

 _A new memory. Being cradled against her mother's chest. Adri's face, terrified. A shield wrapped around the two of them._

" _Stay back! Stay…" Fear dripping from Adri's voice._

 _A presence, brushing her mind. Adri's shield falling away. Something cold and scaly pressing down on her. A white dragon's face._

 _A new memory. A new face. This one kind, smiling._

" _Thank you, Hunith. I can't…" Adri's voice quavered._

" _Shush now, dear. Get some rest."_

" _I have to set up a shield...to keep from being found."_

" _It can wait, dear. The dragon will protect you for now."_

" _...alright…"_

Merlin withdrew from her mind with a gasp. Tears were running down his cheeks. What had he done? What had he done?

"Merlin? Merlin, what's wrong?"

He lifted horrified eyes to meet the gaze of his wife.

"What...what have I done to you?"

Adri's brow crinkled in confusion. "What…"

"I searched her mind."

Anger now. "That was not your right."

"She's my child."

"Did you not trust my word?"

"I had to know for myself, Adri, surely you can…"

"You haven't changed at all, have you? I was a fool to…"

"No, Adri, _listen_ to me!" He stood, Calina in his arms. The little girl whimpered a bit at their raised voices. Adri immediately took her from him, turning away from him.

"What happened...after you left?"

He could see her stiffen. "I don't want to talk about that."

"Adri, I searched Calina's mind. You're right, I didn't find any of Morgana's memories, but I did find her. I saw...I saw you…" He broke off. "Where did you go?"

"Merlin, please…"

"You didn't take anything with you...how…"

"Merlin, just...just stop."

"I want to know. I want to know what I put you through."

"I don't want to…"

"Tell me, Adri!"

"I begged, Merlin!" She whirled on him angrily. "I sold every piece of jewelry I had on me, I sold my wedding ring! But a woman with a child in a noblewoman's dress? Wandering with no provisions or money? And later without a wedding ring?" She swallowed hard. "You know what people thought of me. So you know they wouldn't give me a crust of bread even if I had been able to pay for it. I was a pariah, with nowhere to go, because I was running in _fear_ of you! I have no skills that would earn money besides my magic, but no one would trust a strange noblewoman with a fatherless child, _especially_ if she had magic." She broke off her rant as Calina began to cry in her arms. She shushed her quickly, but Calina stretched out her arms for Merlin. He eyed Adri carefully before he took the child, instinctively quieting her and letting her bury her face in his shoulder.

"When Aithusa found me," Adri began quietly, "I hadn't eaten in three days." Merlin's heart clenched. "She...she helped me get to Ealdor, and I found your mother." She looked away from him.

Merlin drew in a shaky breath. He walked closer to her until he was almost touching her. And sank to his knees, Calina still cradled in his arms.

"Adrianne. I know my words mean little to you anymore," a shaky breath, "but I am _sorry_. There is no excuse. If I could change what happened, I would with all my heart. _Never_ would I have wanted this to happen to you, and I swear to you it never will again. I dare not beg for your forgiveness. I don't deserve it. I've failed you...in ways I can't comprehend. But know that I regret _everything._ "

Adri was silent for a long while. Then she turned to look at him with tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry too. I should have had more faith in you...I know you love her, I just...Merlin, I was so _scared."_

Merlin only bit his lip.

"After all that's happened...it seems too much to hope we could start over."

Merlin sucked in a breath. "I'm...I'm willing to try if you are." She gave him a sorrowful look. "I've never stopped loving you."

"Nor I you," she whispered. "Oh, Merlin…"

Merlin surged to his feet, wrapping an arm around her. Adri's hands tangled in his tunic, and she buried her face in his shoulder. Merlin pressed a kiss to her temple, savoring the feeling of having both his wife and child in his arms. They stood like that for a long moment before a knock at the door broke them apart. Adri pulled away, wiping her face.

"Come!" Merlin called. The door opened, two servants entering with trays of food.

"Thank you," Merlin said quickly as they placed the trays on the table. "That'll be all."

"As you wish, m'lord." They left as swiftly as they came. Merlin turned back to his wife, only for her to launch herself back in his arms, kissing him hard. She pulled back abruptly.

"I'm...I'm sorry, I just...I missed you, Merlin."

Merlin smiled slightly, pulling her back against him. "I missed you too. So much."

* * *

Arthur glanced up as someone strode into the council chamber.

"Merlin! What are you doing here?"

"Arthur, I have done all the paperwork you've sent me, I've read every magical book in the vaults, twice, and I've counted the ceiling tile in my chamber no less than fifty times. Please tell me you have something for me to do."

Arthur smirked. "That bad, huh?"

"That bad."

"Adri know you left your chambers?"

"Ah, no. She probably wouldn't have let me."

"Well, you did almost _die,_ Merlin." Arthur gestured for him to sit at the council table. Merlin obliged, glancing at the paperwork spread in front of the king.

"Almost being the key word."

"Just make sure it stays the key word."

Merlin smirked. Arthur had been his traditional blustering self when Merlin had seen him, but it was clear the king had worried about his warlock.

"How's everything with Adri?"

"...mending. Slowly. We've been through a lot, the both of us. Most of it my fault." Merlin sighed. "But...I think...we'll make it."

"Good." Arthur smiled slightly. "I know how much you've missed her."

"Both of them."

Arthur made a noise of agreement. "Calina's beautiful."

"She is. She's a sweet child." He glanced at Arthur. "She doesn't have Morgana's memories. She's...it's as if Morgana has truly been given a second chance. She is Morgana, with Morgana's magic, but she doesn't have Morgana's life. It's...it's hard to explain."

"I think I understand. Are you certain Morgana's magic didn't just transfer somehow to your child?"

"I suppose it's possible. But it's some...sense, that it's Morgana's spirit in her."

"And you're...alright?"

"Yes. She's still my daughter." Merlin gave him a look. "But you already knew that."

"The one thing I have on you, old friend. I've been a father longer than you. And as a father, I knew you wouldn't be able to deny her. Not for long."

"And for once, you'd be right."

Arthur smacked him on the back of the head.

"Ow!" Merlin rubbed the back of his head ruefully.

"I've had word from Leon. Camelot is doing well."

"You're anxious to return?"

"On the contrary, I think it best we stay in Caerleon for the winter at least. The assassination was an internal affair. I'd like to flush out our traitor before we even consider returning to Camelot."

"What of the illegal magic?"

"We're no closer to stopping it. There seems to be a ring of sellers. Worse, there have been at least three attacks with suspected magic involvement in the past two months. One on a treasury carriage. And the council is fighting me on almost every measure I take to make any progress on the law changes. Not to mention the lack of new knights. Roland is hard pressed to find any remotely qualified and I am hard pressed to find any loyal to myself."

"So basically there's a lot to be done here."

"Basically."

"When is there ever not?"

"It has it's advantages. I've yet to fully win the loyalty of the people here. My presence will help. It gives us time to win the minds of the council more fully. And for you to bond with your daughter."

Merlin hummed in agreement.

"Sire." They turned simultaneously to see Roland in the doorway to the chamber. "There has been another instance of illegal magic."

Arthur sighed. "Duty calls."

* * *

 _Green eyes, flashing with hatred._

" _This day, Arthur Pendragon! On this day I will have my revenge!"_

 _A flash of golden eyes. A sword. Sailing through the air like an arrow. Straight for his heart._

 _A shield. No spells would penetrate. Nothing could stop the sword. Growing closer, closer, closer…_

 _Screams. Cries of rage. Someone shouting useless spells. He, frozen in place. Staring death in the eye. Closer, closer..._

 _Stepping through the shield. Instinctually shoving him out of the way._

" _NO!"_

 _Ringing in ears. Something warm running down legs. Squishing through fingers. Blood._

 _Burning magic flowing through body. Searing._

 _A sword._

 _A sword forged in a dragon's breath._

 _Staring at horror-filled green eyes. Smiling sadly._

" _Not on this day, sister."_

 _A scream of grief. A primal roar of pain. His voice, crying out._

" _I will kill you, Morgan le Fay!"_

* * *

Pippa didn't scream when she awoke. She brushed aside her tears and rolled over to face the glowing glass dragon on her night table. She smiled sadly, blowing a kiss towards the trinket.

"Night, Rowan."

 _It'll be worth it._


	8. Pt 2 Heirs: Growing

**A/N: Hey guys! I'm missing some of my regular reviewers. I hope you guys are okay, and also still enjoying this fanfic. Here's a new chapter that will hopefully spark your interest. Nice, light, and fluffy. See, I can be nice! ;) Also! This is the start of Part 2: Bonds.**

 **Another note: So knighthoods/squires/pages/etc. seemed to work really differently in BBC Merlin than what I've researched on the Middle Ages. Therefore, I'm going to try to work in the mindset of that, with a little of my research fitted in. If someone knows more about the process historically, please share your info.**

 **MusicalsandMordred: YAY! And thank you! I loved writing older Pippa. I'm missing Rowan so much though, so hopefully I get a good chance to show him a little love. I've got plans for him.**

 **I'm convinced no one pays attention to this line. Ah well. For the love of Coffee!**

* * *

Merlin woke suddenly. He lay in the darkness, trying to pinpoint the disturbance that had disturbed his sleep. He rolled to face his wife to find the bed empty.

"Adri?"

"Calina's crying." Adri's voice floated through the darkness from where she searched for her robe.

Merlin sat up. "I'll go."

"Are you sure?"

"Mm. I'll bring her in here if need be. Try to go back to sleep."

"Alright." Adri clambered back into the bed. Merlin knew she wouldn't sleep until she knew her daughter was alright. He slipped through the antechamber to the adjoining room. It was a feature of their new chambers in Camelot that made it easier for them to personally keep an eye on their child. He hurried to Calina's low bed where she sat, sobbing.

"Calina? Calina, what's wrong?"

The three year old just stretched out her arms to him. He lifted her into his arms, kissing her sleek black curls.

"Did you have a nightmare, heart?" The toddler nodded into his chest. "Can you tell me about it?"

The little girl just continued to cry into his chest. He shushed her gently, stroking her head. She ran her hands over his arms several times, as if assuring herself that he was truly there. He let her do as she pleased, humming a tuneless song above her head.

"Would you like to sleep with Mama and me?" He asked after her cries quieted. She nodded again against him. He kissed her head and carried her into the next room.

"Is she alright?" Adri asked softly as he entered.

"Nightmare." _Vision_ echoed loudly between them. Adri frowned sympathetically.

"Mama," Calina stretched out her arms for her mother. Adri took her from Merlin, shushing and soothing her as she settled her in the bed next to her. Merlin crawled in next to her, pressing a kiss to Calina's temple, then to Adri's forehead. Calina curled into her mother's side, but she reached out one hand behind her to clumsily grasp for Merlin. He took her hand and let her pull his closer to herself. She dozed off quickly, safe in her parents' arms.

"Is there nothing we can do?" Adri asked softly when she was sure Calina was asleep.

Merlin sighed. "I've been trying to reconstruct...a healing bracelet, since I learned of Pippa's gift. I've had little luck. Short of that...nothing can be done."

"What of the Isle of the Blessed? Perhaps…"

"I've been. If there is knowledge to be had there, it is barred from anyone other than a high priestess."

Adri sighed. "I know. It's just hard to see…"

"I know." Merlin shifted, reaching out his other hand to rest against his wife's head. "We should sleep."

Adri hummed in agreement. "Goodnight, love."

"Goodnight, darling."

* * *

Rowan bent over armor, polishing it to a shine. He rolled his shoulders, hearing them crack loudly.

"Rowan? Rowan!" He turned towards his sister's call.

"Aren't you supposed to be at lessons, sister?"

"Absolutely. But they have to find me first."

Rowan smirked. "What new torture did they have for you today?"

"Dancing. Of all things. And in a silk ballgown. I'm supposed to be graceful in a heavy sack dragging around my hips."

"I thought you loved dresses?"

"Yes, until they asked me to dance in them."

Rowan chuckled softly. "Are you going to hide out with me in the armory then?"

"No. I'm dragging you away for a game of chess."

Rowan gave her a look. "I have to take mine and Sir Leon's swords to the bladesmith…"

"You work too hard, brother mine."

"Well, you try being squire to the First Knight and heir to the throne and the son of the second youngest knight in Camelot's history."

"Second youngest? Father was only the second youngest? Who was the first?"

"Uther."

Pippa laughed. "He'd never admit that."

"I know. Sir Leon told me."

"You don't have to beat him, you know."

"I'll take equaling him at the moment. Sir Leon thinks I'll be ready by our sixteenth birthday."

Pippa tsked. "A high ambition. That's only gives you two years."

Rowan turned back to his task. "Camelot deserves no less."

Pipa sighed dramatically. "I would feel guilty for dragging you off into my own truancy then, but considering I know for a fact you need a break, I won't. Come! Chess awaits."

"After the swords, I have training…"

"It's raining."

"Your point?"

"Rowan!"

Rowan smirked. "You sound like Father."

"I'll take that as a compliment. Up with you, now. Chess!"

He sighed heavily, even as he smiled. "You only want to have someone else to get in trouble with you."

"You're learning. Now, please?"

"Put the puppy dog eyes away. I already know I won't get anymore work done with you hounding me." He stood, storing the armor he had just finished polishing.

"You should just give in earlier. It saves time."

"Where's the fun in that?"

Pippa laughed as she tugged him from the room. "None at all!"

They ducked into a study in on the north wing of the castle. Well away from the one on the south wing, where the dance instructor waited for Pippa. A chessboard and two armchairs waited in front of a high window, the afternoon sunlight falling on the polished surface.

"A gold sovereign says I beat you in eight moves," Pippa challenged smugly.

Rowan smirked. "You're on."

* * *

"Absolutely not. I am not placing a tax on goods from Caerleon. If we tax goods coming from Caerleon and goods going in, it draws further division between the two lands rather than uniting us." Arthur rubbed a hand across his forehead. "If we must raise taxes, then it will be in a way that is fair and does not place undue weight on our people."

"Sire, the influx of trade from Caerleon is flooding Camelot's markets and destabilizing…"

"The same could be said for goods going to Caerleon," Arthur cut off the councilman.

"Caerleon isn't as great a trade center as Caerleon, and the caravans…"

"Enough." Arthur sighed heavily. "We have been discussing taxes for the past three hours. We will accomplish little more today. We will reconvene in two days time, and I will inform you of my decision. Council dismissed."

The lords rose, bowing in direction of Arthur before leaving. The king waited until he was certain they were well away from the council room before standing and making his way to eastern wing.

He could feel the tension in his shoulders lessening as he heard a sound echoing down the corridor: giggling.

Nissa was laughing loudly as Merlin made illustrations of magical creatures dance, run, and more on the pages of a large book. Arthur could feel a smile forming on his face as he watched.

"Daddy!" Nissa's eyes lit up as she caught sight of her father. She ran to him.

"Hi, sweetheart." Arthur swept her into his arms, kissing her forehead. "Having fun with Uncle Merlin?"

"Yes." She frowned at him suddenly. "What's wrong?"

Arthur's smile grew. His youngest daughter was incredibly perceptive, more so than he, Gwen, or any of his children. He sometimes wondered if it was a trait passed down from Ygraine, but he knew he would never know for sure. "Just a headache, darling."

Nissa tilted her head. She petted his head worriedly, childishly. Arthur almost tensed when her eyes lit up. His headache eased suddenly. Not completely, but enough for him to notice.

Arthur's eyebrows shot up. "Uncle Merlin teaching you healing spells?"

"What spells?"

Arthur made eye contact with Merlin. The warlock looked as surprised as he felt.

"Darling, how…"

"Arthur! There you are." The king turned towards the sound of his wife's voice. "I've been looking everywhere for you. Did you forget you have a freedman's ceremony to perform?"

Arthur sighed. "No rest for the weary."

Gwen gave him a sympathetic look. Arthur sighed again, kissing her forehead.

"I'm going, I'm going." He glanced over his shoulder. "We'll talk later, Merlin."

"Yes, hello sire, how are you, I'm doing well, oh you're leaving now, yes of course, have a good day, sire." Arthur ignored him as he set his daughter down, kissed her once more, and left.

Gwen laughed lightly. "Poor thing. What was he wanting to speak with you about, Merlin?"

"Well, it appears our Nissa here is quite proficient at healing."

"Really?"

Nissa looked at her mother blankly. "I just tried to help Daddy's headache."

"And that was very kind of you, darling." Gwen smoothed back her bangs.

Merlin snorted. "Only your child, Guinevere, would have healing abilities at age six."

Gwen smiled proudly, smugly. "Well, she is my child. Of course she would be extraordinary."

They both laughed as Nissa beamed.

"And where is Galin?" Merlin asked.

"Napping, hopefully."

Merlin sighed. "Along with Calina, I hope."

Gwen frowned sympathetically. "Visions?"

Merlin nodded.

"Any luck recreating Morgana's bracelet?"

"None as of yet. I hope to get Pippa and Adrianne to help me with it soon."

Gwen's eyebrows flew up. "Pippa?"

Merlin smiled. "Pippa is far more proficient and creative with magic than I think you or Arthur realize. She'll grow to be a fine magician. In the time of the Old Religion, she would have been a perfect candidate for high priestess."

Gwen stared at him.

"What's a high priestess, Uncle Merlin?"

Merlin turned to his niece. "They were guardians of the Old Religion. Powerful magic users that study the arts and developed them. Often they were revered in royal courts as soothsayers and magical defenders of kingdoms."

Nissa's eyes widened. "Is Pippa going to be one?"

"No," Merlin said quickly. "The high priestess are all gone now."

"Why?"

"That's a story for another time," Gwen interrupted quickly. Merlin's face had tensed. "Come. Let's go see if we can find your older brother and sister. I hear they've skipped out of classes this afternoon."

* * *

Adri watched with a smile as Calina and Galin played a game of hide and seek in the nursery. Poppy sat near her, knitting.

"Come get me, 'Lina!" Galin called tauntingly. Adri could see her little girl's eyes narrow at the challenge. A satisfied smirk stole over her face where Galin could not see. She crept behind in front of a wardrobe, out of sight from where Galin hid behind it.

"Hey!" She cried out, leaping in front of him. He yelled loudly, startled. Calina laughed gleefully. Galin frowned at her, tugging at her braid.

"Galin, don't…" Poppy tried to call out. But Calina had merely laughed harder, running away from him.

"Your turn!" she crowed.

Adri shook her head. Pippa had taught the two the game a few months ago. Neither child could count perfectly well. Calina skipped three and four and repeated her numbers before she grew impatient and went in search of her cousin. Galin, a little older, counted to ten at a breakneck speed before racing off in search of her. His words jumbled together as he tried to count as fast as possible. It was an innocent game, though sometimes it ended in them fighting.

"They grow so fast, don't they?"

Adri smiled at Poppy's question as Calina ducked behind a curtain. She had already hidden there three times. "They do indeed."

Galin ran immediately to the curtain. "Found you!"

"Awww!" Calina pouted.

"Your turn!"

"I don't wanna play."

"But it's your turn!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!" Calina's eyes flickered gold, sending the end of the curtain flying into Galin's face.

"Calina!"

The little girl looked up, eyes wide. Adri's mouth was hanging open.

"No...no fighting," Adri stammered.

" 'M not fighting!"

"Play nice, then."

"I don't wanna play!"

"Then you don't have to," Poppy interjected. "Galin, find something else to do."

The little boy frowned, but went to the other side of the nursery.

"Did she…"

"Yes." Adri swallowed. "I'll have to tell Merlin…"

"What are you going to do?"

Adri did not take her eyes off her daughter. "I really don't know."

* * *

 **A/N: Okay, so fluff to show where all the children are at the moment. And also, writing older Pippa and Rowan gives me life, and I have to do at least a small scene. I hope you loved it as much as I did, and please review! :)**


	9. Priestess

**A/N: *pops out of hole in the ground* I AM ALIVE! Hi guys. I know it's been a while. But! I have returned. Hopefully with new inspiration and motivation. Anywho, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and if so, please leave me a review! They provide that inspiration/motivation. :) I am so excited about this new arc. I want to focus on our favorite next gen's growth and how that plays into destiny. I hope you guys love it as much as I do!**

 **Ninagayler: Thanks! Hope you like this one! Glad to see you again!**

 **Acorntree14: Thank you so much! I was hoping the parallel would be there just a bit. After all, Pippa is training under Merlin to be the next Court Sorcerer, while Rowan will be the next king. I hope I answer your other questions in this chapter.**

 **And now, without further ado, to Camelot!**

* * *

 _Green eyes, flashing with hatred._

" _This day, Arthur Pendragon! On this day I will have my revenge!"_

 _A flash of golden eyes. A sword. Sailing through the air like an arrow. Straight for his heart._

 _A shield. No spells would penetrate. Nothing could stop the sword. Growing closer, closer, closer…_

 _Screams. Cries of rage. Someone shouting useless spells. He, frozen in place. Staring death in the eye. Closer, closer..._

 _Stepping through the shield. Instinctually shoving him out of the way._

" _NO!"_

 _Ringing in ears. Something warm running down legs. Squishing through fingers. Blood._

 _Burning magic flowing through body. Searing._

 _A sword._

 _A sword forged in a dragon's breath._

 _Staring at horror-filled green eyes. Smiling sadly._

" _Not on this day, sister."_

 _Slumping to the floor, still staring up at that terror-stricken face._

" _Not today...Morgana."_

* * *

The vision echoed in Pippa's mind as she made her way to her uncle's study. She forced a smile over her face as she entered the study without knocking.

"Pippa!" Calina ran to her, wrapping her arms around Pippa's legs. Pippa smiled down at the little girl.

"Good morning, Calina."

"Look!" The four year old tugged her across the room to Merlin's work bench, on which sat a small cushion. Her brow furrowed with concentration and her eyes shone gold. The pillow wobbled, rising to the ceiling before falling back to the bench.

"Wonderful!" Pippa clapped enthusiastically. Calina smiled happily.

"Good morning," Merlin interrupted behind them. Pippa turned to her uncle with a smile.

"Can you teach me how to make a butterfly like you did yesterday Pippa?" Calina asked, drawing the older girl's attention back to her. Calina loved Pippa dearly, trusting her and craving her attention more than any of her other cousins.

"Maybe tomorrow, Calina," Merlin said gently. Calina pouted.

"I tell you what," Pippa knelt down to be level with the child. "Why don't you go play with your doll while Uncle Merlin and I work on our papers, and then I will show you how I turned Rowan's hair blue."

"Yes!" Calina crowed happily. Merlin gave Pippa mock-stern look.

"Are you corrupting my child?"

"Obviously not." Pippa let her eyes sparkle at him. "I am teaching her."

Merlin huffed at her, but smiled at his pseudo-apprentice.

"How's Aunt Adri?"

Merlin sobered, sighing. "Still sick. Alice says there's nothing to be done. We can only wait it out." Adri was two months pregnant with a baby boy. She was also suffering from a very intense bout of morning sickness.

Pippa hummed sympathetically. Merlin slipped an arm around her shoulders.

"Ready for more translating?"

Pippa sighed dramatically. "If we _must_."

They worked the morning through. Poppy had fetched Calina a few hours before lunch, whisking her away to the nursery and Galin, her constant playmate.

It was almost noon when Pippa's quill fell from her hand.

Merlin looked up at her, mild concern in his gaze. "What is it?"

She swallowed hard. "We need to talk."

* * *

Arthur rubbed a hand down his face. If he had known kingship only got harder the longer it went on, he would have savored his younger days much more than he had.

Albion was groaning. It seemed every time Arthur had a problem solved, another arose. The transition of becoming king of both Caerleon and Camelot was still rocky, even after six years. Camelot had been rebuilt largely under the eyes of Merlin and the council after the attack from Essetir, as Arthur had been away in Caerleon. Unrest had grown in Camelot as the king was pulled away from the people he was born to lead to take responsibility for a kingdom that did not want him to lead them.

Gradually, the unrest in Caerleon had grown as they had a new, much more viable trade market with their sister city. Camelot's merchants and craftsmen had been less enthused at the new competition. The council had pressed for tariffs Arthur knew would only increase the division between the two cities.

Now, even as both cities were slowly starting to flourish, despite residual resentment between the two, new problems arose.

The Saxons were raiding Gedref. Queen Mithian had reached out for aid as the bandits began burning crops. Her people were starving, and she had nowhere else to turn. She had offered all the old disputed lands back to Camelot should Arthur send men to her to fight the bandits, along with food and medical supplies.

Camelot and Caerleon were flourishing. They could well afford to assist Gedref in supplies, as well as soldiers. But it was Mithian's third request that made Arthur pause.

She had requested Arthur himself come, along with Merlin.

It was not that Arthur did not want to ride to Mithian's aid, as he had done many years ago. But his position was not as secure as it had once been before becoming joint king. Not to mention, he was much less willing to remove both himself and Merlin from kingdom now than he had been in his youth.

There was also the matter of the disputed lands. While he knew the council would rejoice at its acquisition, the rest of Albion was already looking at him as a potentially power hungry threat. If suddenly Gedref relinquished land to him, it would only cement such an idea.

He scrubbed his hand down his face again. A knock made him straighten.

"Come."

Merlin slipped inside.

"Come to give me a brilliant solution to Mithian's request, have you?"

Merlin did not smile. "I am afraid not, sire."

Arthur made a face at the address. It reminded him of a much younger Merlin who would call him sire only when angry or arguing.

Or hiding something.

"Out with it, Merlin. What did you do, break out the windows in your study again?"

Merlin sighed. "I wish it was that simple, sire."

"What is it then?"

"You're not going to like it."

Arthur sighed heavily. "I rarely do. Now tell me."

"Pippa and I have finally discovered how to recreate Morgana's healing bracelet." Arthur sat up at the words. "But there's a problem. The high priestesses rarely passed down knowledge except through teaching their initiates. And what I have learned from Gaius' books and from experimentation is enough to mimic their craftsmanship. It won't be as strong as Morgana's bracelet, but it should keep Pippa and Calina's nightmares at bay."

"Then what's the problem?"

"It can only be forged on the Isle of the Blessed. It's a center of magical power in Albion, much like the Crystal Cave. Also, the high priestesses magic has...infused the Isle with its own magic, over time."

"So you need to go the Isle."

Merlin winced. "That's not all. Because the Isle is infused with the magic of high priestesses, it can only be drawn upon by one of their own."

"What are you saying?"

"I can't forge the bracelet. Only a high priestess can. And the only person who has the magic of a high priestess is a four year old who cannot command such power."

"Calina."

"Yes. But...there is another way."

Arthur arched an eyebrow at him.

"I can go through the rituals." Both men turned towards the voice. They hadn't heard her come in.

"I can become a high priestess," Pippa repeated.

"I told you to wait outside," Merlin reprimanded.

Pippa raised her chin. "You were taking too long."

"Absolutely not, no!"

"Arthur, hear me out…"

"No! Absolutely not. I'm not having you…"

"Father, listen to me, please!"

Arthur crossed his arms over his chest, glaring slightly at his daughter.

Pippa drew a breath. "There is another reason the high priestesses' knowledge and initiations were such a closely guarded secret. They selected initiates through the gift of foresight." Arthur frowned, gesturing for her to continue. She glanced over at Merlin. "In the time of the Old Religion, priestesses cast spells for certain visions to come to those deemed worthy of initiation. They had to be young women, not quite of age, with the power of magic and the gift of foresight. Visions would come to the women, guiding them to a high priestess, who would then train the initiate and present them on the Isle of the Blessed for the initiation."

"You've been having visions."

Pippa nodded. "I didn't fully understand them, until we finished the translation on the Order of the Priestesses."

"I daresay Morgana had such visions also," Merlin interjected. "Morgause was trained by Nimueh. She would have known the ritual. I think that's why Morgana trusted her so explicitly in the beginning. She would have known her, at least vaguely, from her visions."

Arthur hummed. "But there isn't a high priestess to teach you."

Pippa hesitated for the first time. "I...I don't think I will need one. The visions are far more vivid than anything described in the text. I think the magic is showing me more because it knows there isn't anyone to teach me. A...a precaution the high priestesses must have took, should they ever be destroyed."

Arthur stared at her appraisingly for a moment before speaking. "Becoming a high priestess. What effect will that have on your duty to Camelot?"

Pippa hesitated. "I am...not entirely sure. But I do not believe it will hinder me from becoming a member of Rowan's court, perhaps in Uncle Merlin's stead, one day."

"And should you need to become Queen?"

Pippa blanched. "Rowan…"

"It is something you have to consider, Pippa. Should something happen to Rowan, you are heir to the throne. It isn't a pleasant thing to consider, but you aren't a child anymore." Arthur's eyes softened. "You're not yet a woman, either. But this is something you have to take into account. Your life is not your own."

"You speak as if you think I want to undertake the ritual." Pippa's voice was colder, harder.

Arthur raised an eyebrow. "You don't?"

"I have to. For Calina."

Merlin shuffled his feet. "Pippa…"

"And for myself. You're right, Father. I have to consider the possibility of becoming heir to the throne. Fate forbid something happen to Rowan, but it is a possibility. What kind of queen will I be if I faint from visions several times a day?"

"Several times?" Arthur asked incredulously.

Pippa looked unsure now. "They're growing worse. I've...I've tried to hide it. Little things...I saw a vision of Nissa playing with her doll yesterday. I _see_ far too much." She looked down at the ground, her voice unsure. "Far, far too much."

"Pippa, why didn't you say anything?"

"Because nothing could be done. It would have only added more distress to everyone. I saw that, too." She sighed heavily. "If I keep seeing the future so much, eventually I will grow blind to the present. If one day I am required to be queen, that cannot happen." Pippa's eyes grew sad, tortured. "And I need _peace._ I can't sleep. I can barely eat. It hurts so much, and I need it to stop. Before it drives me mad."

Arthur studied his eldest daughter. When had his baby girl grown into this strong, wise young woman before him? When had his little princess earned the gleam of a queen in her hazel eyes?

When had his carefree daughter suddenly hold so much _pain_ about her shoulders?

Or perhaps the more important question:

How had he not known?

"Pippa…"

She smiled at him, tears glistening in her eyes. "I'm alright. I didn't mean…"

Arthur stood, pulling his daughter into his arms. She buried her face in his chest. He stroked her hair, locking eyes with Merlin.

"What kind of ritual?"

"I don't know. She hasn't told me."

Pippa murmured something into his chest. Arthur withdrew a bit to hear her.

"I can't tell you."

"Pippa…"

"Can you trust me?" She looked up at her father, an open, pleading look on her face. "Can you trust me to do this?"  
"Is it safe?"

Pippa swallowed.

"Pippa…"

"I have to do this."

Arthur sighed, drawing her back into his embrace. "I know. I just wish you didn't."

"It's not your fault."

"I'm supposed to protect you. You're my daughter, Pippa…"

She just hummed against him, her arms tightening around his waist.

He sighed again, turning her chin up so she would meet his eyes. "Just be sure you come back to me." She smiled, nodding slightly.

"And you get to tell your mother."

Pippa groaned, burying her face back against Arthur. He chuckled, stroking her curls again. He looked up at Merlin.

 _You'll protect her?_ He mouthed.

 _Always._


	10. Soldier

**A/N: What's up beautiful people? Here's another update! Relatively quickly, right? Maybe, kinda, sorta? Anyways, I hope you like this one! Here's a little bit to show Rowan some love. Poor thing gets overlooked sometimes in all my plans for Pippa.**

 **MusicalsandMordred: Thank you! I love Pippa so very much. I would love to know your theory though...just so I can know if I'm being predictable or not. Or who am I kidding, because I'm insatiably curious. XD**

 **And now, back to our irregularly scheduled programming.**

* * *

Rowan knocked on his sister's door.

"Come!"

Pippa looked up at him with a smile as he entered. "Come to wish me luck, Rowan?"

"Something like that."

Pippa glanced at her maidservant, a thirteen-year-old girl who worked to help support her family. "I can finish up, Codie. Go home to your mother."

"Are you certain, my lady?"

"Yes, of course!" She smiled charmingly at the girl. Codie returned the smile, curtseying.

"Good night then, my lady. My lord."

Rowan nodded respectfully as the maid left.

"If you've come to talk me out of this, Mother's already tried."

Rowan gave her a wary look. "Our mother is a very wise woman."

"Spit it out, Rowan. Tell me what you're thinking."

"I think it's dangerous."

"As is when you go out on patrol."

"I have the training to make it less so."

"I have studied magic just as long as you have studied the sword."

"There is still danger."

"And that alone should keep me from going? Danger is a part of life Rowan. Even more so for the children of royalty. But it's how we face that danger that defines whether or not we have lived our life well. I'd rather die fighting for my kingdom and for my own peace, than live in this...this…" She sighed frustratedly.

"That's the crux of it, isn't it?"

She raised an eyebrow at him.

"You'd rather die than live with these visions."

Her shoulders slumped. Rowan was the only one who could see through her. The only one who she could never lie to, never hide anything from. She had found herself confiding in him, more than she ever had her parents or her uncle.

"Can you blame me?"

Rowan bit his lip, hesitating. "No. I know you see terrible things. I know you need peace. I just...I can't lose you, Pippa."

Pippa smiled sadly. She walked to her brother, taking his hands in his. When had he gotten so tall? He towered several inches over her now. Perhaps she was just short.

"I will always be with you in your heart. You don't need me, Rowan. You are so incredibly strong. You will be a fine king."

He forced a smile. "What is a king without his counselor?"

Pippa laughed ruefully. "You've been more my counselor than the other way around."

"That's not true."

"It is."

"Let me come with you."

Pippa arched an eyebrow. "I thought you didn't want me to go."

"Of course I don't. But I understand why you must. I wish I didn't, but I do. Just let me come with you, to protect you."

Pippa shook her head. "This is something I have to do alone. Uncle Merlin thinks he'll be able to help...but I don't think the Isle will let him."

"So you're saying I'll just get in the way."

"No…"

"Mmmm." Rowan's smile was amused, but his eyes were not.

Pippa squeezed his hands. "My skill is magic. Your skill is a sword, and diplomacy, and leadership and things like tax numbers and trade treaties and convincing people your way is best without force. You are prince first, Rowan, and a soldier second. I am a sorceress first, and then a princess. Camelot needs you, not me. That's why you have to stay safe."

"You would be a good queen."

"But you'll be a _great_ king."

Rowan smiled bitterly. "I wish I had your faith."

Pippa stood on tiptoe, pressing a kiss to his cheek. She wrapped her arms around his neck.

He closed his eyes, holding her smaller frame to him. "Promise me you'll come home."

"I promise. I'm not dying from this, Rowan."

"You say that as if you're certain."

Pippa was silent.

Rowan pulled back, gripping her shoulders.

"You are certain, aren't you?"

She gave him an apologetic look.

"What did you see?"

"Rowan…"

"You saw your death, didn't you?"

Pippa's eyes filled with tears. "I have seen _many_ people's deaths."Rowan's heart dropped into his stomach. "I can't watch it anymore. I can't take it, Rowan."

He pulled her back into his arms. "Then go." She lay her head in the crook of his neck. They stood for a moment before he withdrew, walking to her night table.

"Take this with you." He handed her the tiny glass dragon he had given her so long ago. She laughed, taking the dragon.

"Well of course. After all," she smiled tenderly at him, "where would I be without my little dragon?"

* * *

Rowan hacked at the training dummy, viciously blunting the edges of his sword against the wood. His twin had left early that morning.

"Prince Rowan!" He turned towards the sound, wiping sweat from his forehead.

"Sir Leon." Rowan nodded.

"We have a patrol. Grab a new sword and come mount up."

Rowan half-smiled. "Yes sir." Leon returned the grin, clapping him on the shoulder.

As Rowan was nearing his knighthood, it wasn't a rare thing for him to ride along on a patrol, but it was by no means often. He suspected his father had had a hand in it today, hoping to distract Rowan from worrying about his sister.

Rowan swung into his saddle easily. He rode an older, experienced warhorse, less hot tempered than Leon's younger, newly broken mount. He glanced at the other knights: Sir Geraint, Sir Owen, and two other, younger knights he didn't recognize. He made a mental note to learn and memorize more names. He couldn't very well hope to lead this men one day if he didn't know their names.

"We'll ride to the ridge of Essetir, then double back north. Understood?"

"Yes sir," the knights chorused. Leon locked eyes with Rowan and nodded.

They rode silently for a while before Geraint passed out a lunch to be eaten while they were riding. Rowan took the passed fruit and bread with a small and quiet thanks.

"So when is the old man going to let you take your knighting test, Prince Rowan?"

Rowan smirked, glancing about at Geraint. He and the knight had a relative friendship, teasing and gently mocking each other during training. Geraint was one of the few knights who cared little for Rowan's station. He was rather like an uncle or even older brother. Sometimes his father would watch him interact with the older knight and get a sad, fond look in his eyes. Leon would catch his eyes, and murmur a name.* Then he would jostle his father's arm and point out how similar Rowan and Geraint were to Leon and Arthur back in the day.

"I don't know, why don't you ask him?" Rowan locked eyes with Leon. His mentor scoffed.

"I have no problem letting you take your knighting test. But you'll have to convince "the ultimate killing machine."

Laughs rang out from the knights. Rowan grinned, shaking his head. His father's intimidation techniques when giving knighting tests. But it was a claim based in reality. Age had taken none of his father's skill with a blade, no matter how much he denied it. Sir Leon might be first knight, but King Arthur was still the leader of his army.

"He was talking of revising the test, you know." Rowan arched an eyebrow sharply at Leon's comment.

"Oh?"

"Ooh, nervous are we?" Geraint teased. Rowan resisted the urge to stick out his tongue at him.

"He thinks it would be a much fairer test if the knight had to _win_ three matches, against three separate opponents, instead of just lasting a minute against him."

"The king think he's losing his grip, does he?" Geraint added.

"No. He thinks it would be fairer, especially for our young prince here."

Rowan scowled. His father thought he would be tempted to go easy on Rowan. He grit his teeth. If his father, his _king_ , could not judge him objectively...

"Rowan!"

He turned towards Sir Leon's shout just in time to hear an arrow whistle past his head.

He threw himself instinctively from the saddle, putting the horse between himself and the archer. Drawing his sword, he looked for Leon only to be greeted with a wave of mercenaries.

"Protect the prince!"

"Rowan!"

"Prince Rowan!"

"Get the archers!"

Screams and cries of outrage rang out as the battle raged. It was very brief. The mercenaries were no match for the knights of Camelot.

"Where's the kid?"

"Rowan!"

"My prince!"

"Over here!"

Rowan ignored their shouts. He almost dropped his bloodied sword to the ground. He turned to face the other knights, his jaw firmly set.

Leon took a step closer to him. "My prince."

"We must report to my father."

Concern, sympathy, and core-shaking recognition flashed across Leon's face before he nodded. "Of course, sire."

Rowan dimly registered that he had never been called that by Leon before. A larger realization echoed over the title.

He had never taken a life before.

He didn't look back at the five bodies behind him. Not as he cleaned his sword and sheathed it. Not as he mounted his horse.

And definitely not as he wiped a splatter of blood from his cheek.

* * *

Arthur half-listened to Leon's report, his eyes on his son. His eldest was locking his knees to stay upright, a dead look in his eyes and a too tight clench to his jaw. He knew that look anywhere. He had seen it on his recruits before. And on his own face in the mirror, many, many years ago.

"Thank you, Sir Leon. That'll be all." Leon bowed, a knowing look in his eyes as he glanced from Arthur to the prince. The patrol turned to leave the room.

"Rowan. Wait a moment."

His son stopped, shoulders stiff. Arthur dismissed the guards in the council room with a wave of his hand. They shut the heavy wooden doors with a clang.

"Rowan, look at me." The boy didn't move.

"Please, son."

Rowan turned, his hands clenched in fists at his side. Tears glistened in his eyes, but they didn't fall. Arthur almost smiled at the willpower in Rowan's posture.

"What is it, sire?"

Sire. The title had been drilled into him from birth. His father had been his king first and his parent second. He hadn't wanted that from his children. He had wanted to earn his children's respect as their father and as a man, then as their king.

But etiquette was etiquette, and old ways are hard to kill. So his children had learned to call him sire, and my lord, and bow and curtsey.

Sometimes he still wondered if he had truly earned their loyalty. Not their obedience. But their respect.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Rowan grew stiffer, if it was possible. "What do you want me to say?"

"I want you to tell me why you're upset."

"I am not upset."

"Well, we both know that's a lie."

A flash of anger. Good. "I am tired."

"Of that I have no doubt. But that doesn't answer my question." Arthur softened his tone. "You know you can tell me what's bothering you, right?"

"I...I…" Rowan bit his lip, and suddenly the stiff soldier was gone, replaced by a scared little boy. Arthur strode closer to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Tell me."

"It's...It's unimportant…"

"Rowan. It's just the two of us. You're allowed to feel."

The shoulder under his hand trembled. Rowan's blue eyes flickered up to his, a tear finally slipping from his brimming eyelid.

"I had...I had never…" Arthur waited, knowing he need to say it.

"I had never killed anyone."

He wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close. Rowan lay his forehead on his chest. Choked sobs wrenched from his throat as Arthur gripped his neck and ran a hand through his hair.

"I know. It's alright. It's alright." He thought back to what he had desperately wanted to hear when he had been in Rowan's position. What Uther had not told him.

"It doesn't make you a bad person, Rowan."

"How...how can you say that?"

"Because you were defending yourself and your kingdom. There is no nobler duty for a king than defending his people. I am proud that you defended us. And I'm sorry that you were forced to."

Rowan trembled in his hold. "I can...I can still…"

"I know." Arthur rubbed circles on his back. "It's alright. You did the right thing today. I know it doesn't seem like it now. I know it's hard and terrible. But it's how we make sure other people don't have to do the same thing."

Rowan hiccuped and nodded. He stayed in Arthur's arms for several moments before his cries quieted. He pulled back, wiping at his eyes.

"Rowan." Arthur waited till the boy looked up at him. "Don't ever be afraid to show me what you're feeling." Rowan bit his lip and nodded. Arthur tilted up his chin, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

"Go get some rest."

"Yes, sire." Rowan bowed. And Arthur was floored for a minute at the gratefulness, love, and _loyalty_ shining in his eyes. He smiled at him as he left.

And if Arthur held Rowan when he woke up screaming in the dead of night, only the two of them would ever know.

* * *

 ***Points to anyone who guesses who I'm referencing here. And virtual scones, of course.**


	11. Tested

**A/N: Hey guys! A new chapter! Yay! I hope you guys like this one! And please, please, please review! They make my day.**

 **Also, just if you guys were wondering, Amandla Stenberg: if she is not Pippa Pendragon, then I don't know what to tell you.**

 **MusicalsandMordred: These are the kind of reviews I LIVE for, thank you so much! And virtual scones for you! I wanted to make the slight connection to Gwaine. I miss him!**

 **And now, without further ado, back to irregularly scheduled programming.**

* * *

 _Vibrant green eyes and a malicious smile. "In this life...in this life, I'll be his doom. His fairy."_

 _Merlin's voice, pleading. "No, no, no, please. I just lost him, I can't lose you too. Please. Please, come back to me. Come back to me."_

 _Adri, with ashen skin. "Goodbye, my darling love."_

 _A young man, black curls, hate-filled moonstone eyes. "This is not over, Emrys!"_

 _Another young man, with sad eyes and blood-stained hands. "I have cost you your daughter, Emrys. That is a sin I can never atone for."_

 _Calina, a little taller, a little older, with a front tooth missing and tears in her eyes. "Please don't be angry."_

 _Rowan, screaming in rage. "You killed her!"_

 _Father, with wrinkled visage and pain creased brow. "I cannot be your bane."_

 _Mother, a sad, proud smile on her face. "You are ready for this burden."_

 _Merlin, gripping her shoulders. "What did you see?"_

 _And then darkness. Silence broken by only the lapping of water, a white light breaking through the darkness. And a word, whispered by the waves. Avalon..._

* * *

"Pippa, wake up!"

She jerked awake. The campfire that had soared six feet in the air died back down to a gentle flame. Merlin had a hand on her shoulder.

"It's alright, it's alright. You're safe. You're safe, it's just me. I'm here, carissima. It's alright."

She drew several shaky breaths, pinching her nose. Merlin marveled ruefully at the familiar gesture he had seen Arthur do many times.

"Here. Drink." He handed her a waterskin, moving to sit beside her and wrap an arm around her shoulders. She took the waterskin shakily, tilting it up. She curled into his side. He could see the light from the fire reflecting in the tears on her face. They sat in silence for a while.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She sighed. "It...it was just...flashes." Merlin was silent, letting her speak. "It...it didn't make sense. I...I saw people...people I don't know."

"That's not unusual."

"I know. I just...I had the strangest feeling I _should_ know them. And I saw…" She choked on a sob. Merlin rubbed her arm. "I saw...people…" She grit her teeth, shaking her head.

"I can't, I can't do this anymore. Make it stop, uncle, please."

Merlin's heart broke at the plea. If only he could. "I would if I could, carissima, you know that."

Pippa only whimpered, burying her face into his shoulder. They sat like that for a long time before Merlin felt her go limp against him. He whispered a spell to keep her visions at bay, at least for an hour or so, before lowering her back onto her blankets.

"Good night, carissima."

* * *

It was another three days before they reached the Isle of the Blessed. They had to stop many times as Pippa was assaulted by visions. The closer they came to the Isle of the Blessed, the stronger the visions seemed to grow.

Now, they rode in sight of the walls. Wyverns screeched above them. Merlin threw back his head, roaring at them to stay far from the Isle until they left.

Pippa regarded him with a faint mockery of her usual smile. "I wish you could teach me that."

Merlin smiled at her. "Afraid not."

Pippa smirked. "Well, you can teach Kaldur then." She saw Merlin flinch before her words dawned on her.

"You and Aunt Adri haven't picked a name yet, have you?"

"Well, I suppose we have now."

Pippa gave him an apologetic look. He smiled reassuringly at her.

When they reached the dock, the ferryman was waiting. They dismounted and walked to the boat. Merlin made to get in the boat, but the wraithlike ferryman raised a hand.

"Only her."

Merlin cast an anxious glance back at Pippa. She swallowed hard, stepping up to the boat.

"Pippa…"

"We have no other choice."

"Your father would string me up by my heels."

Pippa threw her chin in the air. "My father is not here."

"You are not going alone."

"I am a princess of Camelot and Caerleon, and I will do this." Pippa's eyes flashed.

Merlin raised an eyebrow, supremely unimpressed with the reminder of her station. One she had never used before. "My orders come from the king, _princess_. His authority trumps yours, my lady."

"Even at the expense of your daughter, my lord?"

It was an incredibly low blow, and a testament to Pippa's troubled state of mind that she would make it. Merlin's eyes narrowed. "There is another way."

"No. Only her. Go back, Emrys." They turned towards the wraith. Merlin glared at him.

"I will not leave my niece."

"Go back, Emrys. Only her."

"Uncle." An olive branch. "I must do this."

Merlin held her gaze for a long time before huffing. "You take far too much after your father, princess."

She smiled slightly. "Why thank you." Merlin's glare softened.

"My oath to him extends to you. Doubly so because he asked it of me. I swear to protect you or die at your side."

Pippa's eyes glazed over in what he recognized to be a vision. She smiled sadly, dazedly at him.

"Not this time, uncle." Her eyes glowed gold, and he slumped unconscious to the dock. Pippa turned on her heel, stepping into the boat.

"Take me where I wish to go."

* * *

She stared at the crumbling stone walls in amazement. They were all so...familiar. She could feel the magic humming beneath the earth, purring around her ankles like a barn cat. Her knees buckled as a vision assaulted her. She slumped against the stone walls…

 _Merlin in a tattered jacket and a red neckerchief. He stood in the center of the Isle. A woman with vibrant blue eyes and long brown curls stood in front of a stone altar, a ball of fire in her hands. A body slumped at the foot of the altar, white hair hiding the corpse's face._

 _Merlin, eyes filled with hatred and anger. "You should not have killed my friend."_

 _Lightning crackling through the sky._

 _Come..._

Pippa groaned, straightening slowly. The center of the Isle. That is where she must go.

It looked exactly as it had in the vision...down to the brown haired woman with the vicious smile.

"My, my, my, what have we here?" The woman laughed a little, blood red lips thinning. "The granddaughter of Uther Pendragon, seeking help from the high priestesses? How history repeats itself."

Pippa eyed her warily. "Who are you?"

"Why don't you recognize me, child?" The woman taunted. "Search your mind, young sorceress."

Pippa stumbled backwards as the vision rushed her…

 _The Isle in its glory, swarming with magical beings and non-magical beings, all seeking the aid of the high priestesses._

 _A young king with Father's jawline._

 _A blonde haired queen, dying with a newborn baby in her arms._

 _Burning. Drowning. Death. Cast out._

 _Screaming in rage at the death of her friends._

 _Young Merlin again, draining a silver goblet._

 _Lightning…_

"Nimueh," Pippa gasped out. "High Priestess of the Old Religion and Sorceress Supreme of the Order of the Triple Goddess." Her eyes narrowed slightly. "You are responsible for the death of Ygraine Pendragon and the birth of my father."

"And your grandfather and your father are responsible for the destruction of my people and the death of the Order of the High Priestesses," Nimueh snarled.

"I am not my grandfather, nor my father." Pippa looked her over. "And you are dead."

"That I am, princess. My spirit is tied to this place. I am the guardian of the magic of the high priestesses." She tilted her head, a smirk playing on her lips. "There is another like me. She lives in a lake."*

"Your visions led me here."

"Hmm. Yes, they did. Perhaps an error on their part. There is no room for a _Pendragon_ in the New Order."

Pippa raised an eyebrow, glancing around the courtyard. "I had not realized you were swamped with initiates."

Her sarcasm only angered the spirit. "You are strong in the sight, this is true. But your magic is paltry and you fear your sight. You only wish to be a High Priestess to rid yourself of the sight. A priestess must embrace her gifts."

"Then teach me."

"Your loyalties are divided. You have been trained by Emrys, the greatest enemy of our Order. And your dedication to your precious Camelot will hinder you from giving yourself entirely to our cause."

"And what cause is that? The cause of Morgana?" Pippa sneered.

"Foolish girl! You speak of what you do not understand. Morgana and Morgause craved power, but they hid their intentions behind a screen of nobility and justice for the cause of magical peoples."

"And you? You forget what I have seen. You sought vengeance against Camelot."

"I sought justice and freedom for my people. Uther was a cruel king…"

"And my father is the Once and Future king. If the Druids could abide in peace until his rule, you could have as well."

"The death did not stop with your father's rule."

"It did in time. Under Emrys, your so-called mortal enemy." Pippa almost smirked, eyeing her. "Or I suppose he was your mortal enemy, was he not?"

"Emrys was a foolish boy!"

"Emrys has brought peace to this land, as has my father!"

"Has he?" Nimueh strode closer to her. "Has he truly brought peace, princess? The visions that you seek such relief from say otherwise." She tilted her head. "What is her name again? _Calina?_ "

"Do not speak her name." Pippa's voice was deadly.

Nimueh's eyes widened in gleeful cruelty. "You _care_ for her, don't you? You love the child. Despite all you've seen, you still let her into your heart." She laughed. "Oh to be so naive and foolish again! To see so much, yet remain so blind. The child will break the heart you've given her, princess! You seal your own fate, and the fate of your kingdom, with your blindness."

"I am not blind." Pippa's eyes flashed angrily. "I know what she will do. But I am strong enough to love her despite it."

"Are you, princess? Or do you deceive yourself?"

"It is easy to hate those you believe hate you. Morgana knew that. It is much harder to hate those who love you and willingly show that love. I weaken her actions far more by my love than I do by my hate."

"So be it. But when your kingdom lies in ashes and rubble, do not say I didn't warn you. Are you ready to face your trials, princess?"

Pippa looked at her in surprise. "You will let me take them?"

"My own personal judgement of you does not change the magic's decision in bringing you." Nimueh smirked again. "And I now know your role in destiny's course. Whether or not you are a member of our Order, your... _meager_ role in Fate's plan is of little consequence. Or do you think in all the futures you have seen, all the deaths you have witnessed in your dreams, it is a coincidence that you have not seen your brother die?"

Pippa's face paled.

"Rowan's fate is hidden to you. To show you that in all your desperate attempts to save him, you will never know if you succeed. Isn't is a pleasant reminder of your own futility and irrelevance? The spare heir. The failed sorceress. And the crippled seer."

"No, Nimueh." Pippa grit her teeth. "It is a reminder of the strength of my hope. Begin your tests, priestess."

"As you wish." Nimueh strode to a cauldron simmering over a fire to the side of the courtyard. She gestured to Pippa to follow her. She held up a strange shaped root. "Mandrake root. A most versatile little plant. It can be used to drain the mind and create visions. But manipulated the correct way, it can take much more than that from a magical person." She tossed the root into the brew. Pippa winced at the scream of pain that followed.

"Mandrake is the ultimate test of magical ability. To hear the scream of such a root shows your magic. But to manipulate and conquer the roots effects is something only the strongest of magic users can do."**

"What happens if I fail?"

"Then the mandrake will take your magic, and your sanity alongside it."

Pippa swallowed.

"Are you ready, princess?"

"Yes."

Nimueh dipped a vial into the black potion and handed it to Pippa. "Then drink."

Pippa took the vial in a shaking hand. "Forgive me, Father." Then she raised it to her lips and drained the vial.

"Hello, Pippa."

She whirled on the voice, gaping. "Rowan, what are you doing here?"

"I came to protect you."

"Rowan, you have to leave, now!"

"I won't, not without you."

"Rowan." Pippa grit her teeth in frustration.

"I won't let you do this, Pippa. You can't become one of them."

"I have to do this, Rowan, you know this. We talked about this."

Rowan's face turned into a snarl. "I won't have you throw your life away to become Morgana!" He drew his sword.

"Rowan, don't do this."

He flung the sword at her heart. Her eyes glowed gold, flinging the sword away from her. She turned to look at Rowan, only to find he was gone.

"You betrayed me!" Merlin screeched at her. His eyes burned an angry gold as he threw a fireball at her. She conjured a shield before it hit.

"I couldn't let you stop me! Uncle, please!" The fireballs continued to rain upon the shield.

"Uncle, please! Listen to me!"

"You caused this! You cost me my daughter!" Merlin roared a spell. Lightning crackled through the sky, spiking through her heart with mind-numbing pain. She fell to the ground, screaming in agony.

Silence. She blinked past tears, head lolling on the ground. She turned to see her mother kneeling over her.

"Pippa! Pippa wake up! Pippa, they're going to kill us!"

"Pippa, help!" Nissa screamed. Pippa watched as masked men dragged Nissa and Galin away as the children screamed. Two men grabbed her mother, wrenching her away from Pippa.

"No…" She rolled to her side, trying to extend a hand, futilely calling on her magic.

"You failed us, Pippa! You failed us! I hate you!" Her mother's word cut through her.

"No…" She stumbled to her feet. A hand fell on her shoulder. She turned, hands raised.

"Easy, easy Pippa! Easy, it's just me."

She fell into her father's arms with a broken sob. "Daddy…"

"Shh...shh, Pippa. It's alright. I've got you now. It's okay, you're safe. Shh, shh, princess. It's alright." He held her close, running a hand over her curls. She felt him drop a kiss on the top of her head. And then felt a searing pain race through her stomach. She pulled back from him with a gasp, Excalibur buried in her stomach.

"Wh...why?"

Arthur gripped her chin, sneering at her. "Do you think I could ever be proud of a daughter with _magic?_ Especially one so weak and crippled as you? You are a shame to the Pendragon name, Pippa."

She stared at him in horror, hands going to her stomach. Then she glared at him.

"No!" She forcibly ripped Excalibur from her middle, pressing the bloodstained blade against his collarbone. "You made a mistake, sorceress! You press your own fears upon my mind! My father will never reject magic. Not again." She raised the sword, a scream of rage upon her lips.

"Pippa don't!" Her mother was gripping her now, trying to pull the sword from her grip. "You can't do this!"

"Pippa!" Nissa staring at her in fear.

"Pippa, you don't want to do this!" Merlin, horror in his golden eyes.

"Enough!" Her eyes glowed gold as she screamed. Fire rolled down Excalibur's blade. A wave of magic rushed through her, ripping through the figures of her family.

"Pippa. Pippa please." Where her father was, now her brother stood, eyes wide with fear as he gazed at the flaming blade pointed at his throat.

"You're not him."

"Pippa, please. Please, it's me. It's Rowan." A tear rolled down his cheek. "It's your brother. It's your twin. Please, Pippa. Put the sword down."

The sword wavered in her grasp. "You're not him."

"You're right. I'm not." His face morphed. His skin turned pale as snow, his hair long and black, his eyes green and bright with insanity.

Pippa swallowed, backing up in fear. "Morgana."

The woman laughed in front of her. "Now you face your greatest fear. What will you do, little princess?" She leaned closer to her. "Are you going to kill me?"

"You're not real. You're dead."

"Am I, princess?" Her eyes glowed gold. Pippa flew backwards, her head cracking against a stone wall. Excalibur fell from her grip.

"I am alive in your mind, Pippa! I am the grasp of insanity that has found root in you. I am your weakness. You cannot kill me!"

Pippa gasped as the witch's magic gripped her throat. Morgana cackled. Pippa's eyes glowed gold. Excalibur buried itself in Morgana's side. The witch's eyes grew wide with pain and she released Pippa.

Pippa gasped for air, rubbing her throat. She turned to look at Morgana. But in her place, Calina knelt, the sword impaled through her side.

"P...Pippa?" Tears ran down the child's face as blood gurgled from her mouth.

"No!" Pippa screamed falling on her knees in front of Calina. "No!"

She woke up on the ground. She turned on her side, retching violently. She vomited up the black potion and lay on the ground, coughing.

"Well done, princess." Pippa looked up at Nimueh. "You have conquered the Mandrake. You are now a High Priestess of our Order." Nimueh bowed to her. "The magic of this place is now tied to you. You can call upon it at will." Nimueh smiled a little. "Emrys comes. I fear he would not appreciate seeing me, so I take my leave." Her form began to fade. "Take care, Pippa."

Pippa closed her eyes, groaning as she stumbled to her feet. She could feel the magic of the Isle. It buzzed through her veins now instead of curling around her. She shook with the feeling of power, her head pounding.

"Pippa!" Her uncle ran to her, gripping her shoulders. "Are you alright? Pippa! Are you alright?"

"No." She looked up at him with a sad smile. "But I will be."

* * *

 ***Guess who? Freya, of course.**

 ****If you notice, only Morgause and Morgana ever use the Mandrake root in the show.**


	12. Peace

**A/N: Hey guys! So you'll notice I renamed this section "Heirs" since it focuses largely on Pippa and Rowan. You'll also notice that like Vision of Happiness, this has a very slowly developing plot. I hope you guys don't mind the kind of tied oneshot approach I'm taking so we get to see the next generation growing up, while still moving towards the end goal. Anyway! Here's a new chapter (and quickly too, look at that) so I hope you enjoy and leave me a review! :D**

 **MusicalsandMordred: Yay! Ah, well I think any fanfic author would be lying if they said they didn't want their work to be on the screen/in print one day. ;) But thank you so much!**

 **And now, without further ado, to Camelot!**

* * *

Merlin watched his niece carefully. They were camped on the edge of the Isle, far from the center. He shuddered inwardly when he remembered the familiar place.

Pippa had not spoken since her cryptic words when he found her. Merlin had given up questioning her, choosing instead to find a safe place for them to camp in the night. He wrapped a blanket around her and placed a bowl of stew in her hands. She ate mechanically, staring into the flames of the campfire. Now she swayed where she sat, staring into the darkness with unseeing eyes.

Merlin shivered as he felt the magic of the place wash against him. It was burning, sharp, hostile. It did not want him here. Yet he could feel it pulsing around and _through_ his niece, almost a living, comforting entity.

"Tomorrow."

Merlin's head shot up, looking at his niece. She turned her head slowly, meeting his gaze. "We forge the bracelets tomorrow."

"Are...are you sure you're up to it?"

Pippa nodded listlessly. She pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her head on them.

"Pippa." He was encouraged when she looked at him. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head.

"It might help."

"No." Her response was quick, sharp. Merlin nodded, eyes pinched with worry. They sat in silence for a minute before he shuffled to sit next to her. She flinched when he put an arm around her, then slowly leaned into his warmth.

"I'm a high priestess," she whispered.

"I know."

"I didn't think it'd hurt this much."

Merlin stiffened. He pressed a kiss against her temple. "What can I do?"

"Nothing. It's done."

* * *

Pippa was largely back to her usual self the next morning. She still refused to speak of whatever had happened during the trial and flinched if Merlin touched her abruptly.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?"

Pippa nodded. "I feel...stronger. I can feel the magic tying itself to me. It's...exhilarating. And a bit scary."

"Do you think you can control it?"

Pippa hesitated before nodding. Merlin gave her an appraising look before nodding as well.

"Then we'll try it. You won't have to direct the magic, only channel it."

"Right. Good." Pippa gave him an anxious smile. "We should do it in the center of the Isle."

Merlin glanced at her in surprise. "Are you sure?"

"The magic is strongest there."

"Alright then."

They made their way to the center of the Isle. Pippa flinched, eyes growing dull as they entered the courtyard. Merlin inhaled sharply.

"I do not have good memories of this place."

"I know."

He glanced at her as she moved to the altar. "Here." He sighed, acquiescing to his niece.

"The student has become the teacher."

Pippa smirked.

He laid out the metal he had brought. He had spent several days forging the gold and silver with healing spells and magical properties. But to tie magic to the metal, to allow the magic to harness magical power would take a feat of magic only the power of the high priestesses could mimic.

"Are you ready?" Pippa nodded. She and Merlin clasped hands over the metal. Her eyes glowed gold, calling upon the magic of the Isle. Merlin exhaled and began to chant.

* * *

Adri awoke with a sigh. Calina was crying. She stumbled to her daughter's bedroom.

"Calina, Calina!" She sat on the side of the child's bed, reaching out to pull her close. "It's alright! Shh, sweetheart, shh. It's alright. It's Mama." The four year old gripped her tight, sobbing into her nightgown.

"Shh, shh. It's alright, darling. Shh. You're safe."

"Daddy. Daddy. I want Daddy."

Adri sighed, cuddling the little girl closer. "I know you do, darling. He's coming home soon." She hoped. Merlin and Pippa had already been gone a week. She had tried to scry them a few nights ago, but the Isle was shrouded in mist and did not allow magic to see its depths.

"Daddy's here, sweetheart." Adri's heart soared at the deep voice behind her. She turned with a relieved smile as Merlin sat behind her, reaching out a hand to Calina. The little girl crawled immediately into his embrace. He soothed her, running a hand over her raven curls. Adri sighed, heart melting at the scene. How could she have ever thought her dear little girl would be better off without this loving man in her life? She was so proud of both of them.

"Darling, I have something for you." Calina turned tear-filled eyes up to her father. He held up a silver and gold bangle, slipping it onto her tiny wrist.

" 'S pretty." Calina scrubbed at her eyes, studying the bracelet. "It's too big."

Merlin laughed softly. "I know. You'll grow into it."

"Thank you."

Merlin leaned forward, kissing her forehead. "Do you think you can sleep now?" The child's eyes were already drooping. She didn't answer, only crawled back under her covers. She was asleep within seconds.

"It worked," Adri breathed. "Oh, Merlin…"

"Don't thank me. Thank Pippa."

Adri wrapped her arms around his neck. "I thank both of you." She kissed him soundly. He sighed against her mouth, holding her close.

"I missed you, darling."

Adri smiled, leaning her forehead against his. "I missed you. Do you want to go to sleep? We have a few hours till dawn."

"Yes, please," Merlin sighed. "Pippa insisted we keep going through the night to get the bangle to Calina as fast as possible."

"Did you make one for her as well?"

"Mmm. She slept more soundly than I have ever seen the first night."

"Wonderful."

"She's made of steel, our niece."

"That she is."

Merlin smiled softly down at their sleeping daughter. "So is our girl."

Adri smiled. "That she is."

He kissed her again. "I missed you."

"You already said that."

"Still true."

"You should get some rest."

"In a minute." Merlin sighed against his wife's temple. "Let me watch her sleep. I want to remember this."

"What?"

He smiled. "Her. At peace."

* * *

Pippa stretched as she woke up. Codie was puttering softly about the room, dusting.

"Good afternoon, princess," she greeted.

"Afternoon?" Pippa stuttered with a yawn.

"Her Majesty said you were not to be disturbed, no matter the hour." Codie smiled. "I take it the bracelet worked?"

Pippa smiled down at the silver and gold band around her wrist. "It did." She sighed in ecstasy. "I haven't slept more than four hours in years. I feel...amazing."

Codie's smile broadened. "I'm glad, my lady. Oh, Prince Rowan asked that you see him as soon as you awoke. He's with your father in the council chambers."

"Thank you. Now, what do you think will go with this new little beauty of mine?" Pippa grinned, standing to fling open her wardrobe.

She was dressed in a flowing white dress when she made her way to the council chambers. She smiled charmingly as she walked, nodding to lords, ladies, and servants alike.

The guards opened the door for her with a smile, and she strode inside.

"Princess." Her father looked up from his discussion with Alice at the table with a smile. She had seen him briefly the night before, enough to accept his hug with a flinch and make her excuses for bed. She smiled at him.

Alice stood, curtseying. "I will leave you to your reunion. My lords. Princess."

Arthur nodded at his court physician, rising to walk to Pippa. He wrapped her in a hug. She tensed only slightly before melting into the embrace.

"How'd you sleep?"

"Wonderfully." Pippa bounced on her toes, undignified and grinning. "It works."

"I'm so proud of you." Arthur grinned at her again before kissing her forehead.

"Alright, my turn."

Pippa turned towards her twin, smiling. She returned his fierce embrace, a desperation in her grasp.

"I missed you," she whispered sincerely.

"And I you." He pulled back, gazing over her searchingly. "Well, you don't look any different for a high priestess."

"I feel different. I feel...stronger. And...peaceful."

"What do you mean, stronger, Pippa?"

She turned towards her father. "I can feel the magic of the Isle. I can do much more than I ever could with my magic."

A worried light entered his eye. "You can feel the magic this far away?"

She nodded. "I still don't have Uncle Merlin's skills. But one day…" She turned towards her brother, an impish twist to her lips. "I will surely be able to serve my king as Court Sorcerer, one day."

Arthur's expression softened. "A long day away, I hope."

"Me too," Rowan said emphatically.

Pippa laughed. "You don't want to tangle with the council yet?"

"Please no."

Arthur smirked. "You know, you really could take over the next reporting of the lords…"

"Please, no." Rowan glared at him softly. Arthur laughed, reaching out to ruffle his hair.

"Pippa!"

"Pippa's home!

"Pippa!"

The young princess turned to see three children scrambling into the chambers, Gwen, Adri, and Merlin following them. She sank to her knees, opening up her arms. Nissa flung her arms around her neck. Pippa groaned when Galin and Calina joined in, much less gently.

"We missed you." Nissa grinned, showing off a newly lost tooth.

"I missed you!" Pippa pressed a kiss to Galin's forehead. "You have to tell me everything that happened while I was gone."

"I made the fire move!" Calina announced.

"That's wonderful, darling!" Pippa hugged her tightly. A little too tightly.

"Alright, dears, let Pippa stand up at least." Pippa shot her mother a grateful look as she rose to her feet. She embraced her mother, breathing in her scent of lavender and silk.

"I'm glad you're home," her mother told her.

"Me too."

"How are you feeling, Pippa?"

"More rested than I have felt in years. Thank you, Aunt Adri." She smiled up at the taller woman, keeping an arm wrapped around her mother's waist. She caught eyes with Merlin and gave him a grateful look. He nodded once, smiling gently.

This was home. This was rest.

This was peace.


	13. Warlock

**A/N: Hey guys! Here is a new chapter! I am so sorry it is so late, I know I promised an update much sooner than this. I have been totally lacking motivation, but hopefully this will start a new run of inspiration. I have so many big ideas for this fanfiction. Let's hope they go well! As always, please leave a review! I appreciate them so much!**

 **And now, back to our irregularly scheduled programming.**

* * *

 **Merlin awoke to the early morning gloom as his wife shifted heavily on the bed next to him. He sighed, rolling onto his stomach and crossing his arms beneath his head.**

"I didn't mean to wake you," Adri apologized softly.

"It's alright. He keeping you awake?"

"Just uncomfortable. And contractions.

"Contractions?" An edge of concern entered Merlin's voice.

"Alice says they are false alarms," Adri reassured him. She sighed. "I am ready for your son to be out of me, warlock."

Merlin smiled sleepily. "My son? I think you were involved too." She slapped his arm gently. He laughed in his throat.

"Have you picked a name?"

Merlin sighed, almost amused. "That's a bit complicated."

"Complicated?"

Merlin gave her a sheepish look. "I wasn't going to tell you, but it seems a bit unfair." He took a deep breath as if readying himself. "Pippa picked a name out."

"I give you the supreme honor of naming our child, and you give it away?"

"Our child now, is it?"

"Merlin."

He laughed again. "She slipped up. She had a vision, and in it, we called him Kaldur. It was on our list, after all."

"And now the moment you said it, I can't imagine him as anything else."

"Neither can I."

Adri laid a hand on her swollen stomach. "Hello, Kaldur." Merlin laid a hand over hers.

"Hello, son," he whispered before leaning down to kiss her stomach. They lay in silence for a moment before Adri tensed.

"Merlin."

"Hmm?"

"My water broke."

Merlin sat up. "I thought you said…"

"Go get Alice."

"Is he…"

"Merlin, don't panic." Alice almost laughed at the expression on her husband's face. "We've done this before."

A split second of pain flitted across Merlin's face before his concern was back. Adri winced suddenly.

"Get Alice, Merlin."

"Alright, I'm going, I…"

"Merlin." Alice's voice was heavy with affection. He turned to her. She motioned him down and kissed him hard.

"We're having a baby."

He smiled against her lips. "Don't go anywhere."

"Funny, Merlin. Very funny."

He laughed, turning to hurry out the door.

"Merlin, wait!" Adri called. He was already out the door. She sighed fondly, rubbing a hand on her stomach. "Wait till your father realizes he forgot his shirt."

* * *

"Merlin, will you stop pacing? You're making me anxious."

"You're anxious?" Merlin asked incredulously, turning towards the king. "She's my wife!"

"And your pacing is not helping her in the slightest."

"It's helping me," Merlin grumbled.

Arthur rolled his eyes.

"Is the baby here yet?" Nissa called cheerfully, skipping into the room.

"Not yet," Arthur told her, holding out his arms for his daughter. She clambered into his lap.

"But it's been foreeeevvvvverrrrrr." Nissa sighed dramatically, flopping back against Arthur with a pout on her lips.

"You're telling me," Merlin told his niece with a firm nod.

"If you two are impatient, imagine how Adri feels."

Merlin winced and went back to his pacing. They were in Arthur and Gwen's chambers next door to Merlin and Adri's. Alice, Gwen, and Raya were with Adri. When there had been no change, even as dawn turned to noon and then to sunset, Arthur had finally made Merlin move to the nearby chamber and attempt to eat instead of sitting in the corridor and listening to Adri's cries of pain.

"Daddy!" Calina ran through the open door, Galin following her.

"Hello, my heart." Merlin smiled, scooping his daughter up into an embrace. A harried Poppy entered the room, eyeing Nissa.

"There you are, princess." Her voice was mildly scolding. Arthur glanced down at his sheepish second youngest before sweeping Galin into his arms as well.

"Isn't it time for you three to be in bed?" Arthur asked.

"I brought them to say goodnight," Poppy explained.

"Can't we stay up till the baby comes?" Nissa begged.

"You can see the baby in the morning, when he's clean and when he's slept so he will be ready to meet his new cousins." Nissa frowned at Arthur's answer. He touched her nose lightly, causing it to wrinkle. He smiled as she tried not to laugh.

"Any word?" Pippa and Rowan entered together.

"Not one." Merlin sighed into Calina's curls.

"Daddy, where's Mama?"

"She's with baby brother."

Calina frowned. "I want to see her!"

"You can't right now, heart, but you'll see her in the morning. And you'll get to meet your baby brother!"

"But I want to see her now!"

"I know, darling. I want to, too. But Mama's...Mama doesn't feel good right now. She'll feel better in the morning."

Calina's frown deepened, but she didn't say anything. Merlin kissed her forehead.

"It's time for you to be asleep. You're going to sleep with Galin and Nissa, alright?"

"No, I don't want to!"

"Darling…"

"I don't want to!"

"I'll go with her," Pippa offered.

Merlin glanced down at his daughter. "Will you go with Pippa?" Calina nodded against him. "Alright. Night, my heart. I love you." He kissed her forehead.

"Love you, daddy." She leaned up and placed a sloppy kiss on his cheek before stretching her arms out to Pippa.

"Thank you, carissima."

Pippa smiled, letting Calina curl her head against her shoulder. "My pleasure."

Nissa and Galin said their goodnights before following Pippa and Poppy out. Merlin sighed before sitting in the armchair across from Arthur at the fire.

"Rowan, you don't have to stay," Arthur told his son, glancing over his shoulder at the lanky boy.

"Yeah, you can get some sleep, little dragon."

"I'd like to stay, if...if you don't mind."

Merlin smiled at him. "I'd like that, little dragon." Rowan returned the smile, gracefully folding his legs under him to sit at his father's feet. Arthur ruffled his hair, smiling at him proudly. They sat quietly for a long while.

"Does it always take so long?" Rowan asked suddenly.

"Sometimes. I thought you and Pippa would never be born."

"He was a nervous wreck," Merlin teased, leaning his head against the back of the armchair.

"I was not a _wreck_ , Merlin, I was just excited."

"Nervous wreck," Merlin mouthed to Rowan. His nephew grinned.

"Was not."

"Was too."

"Was not."

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Nissa came much faster. Your little sister was in a hurry to be born, according to your Aunt Adri. And feet first."

"She couldn't even wait for me to be here. Clearly she has your mother's impatience," Arthur said loftily. Merlin gave him a disbelieving look.

Rowan tried to hide his grin. "What about Galin? I remember he seemed to take a while."

"Galin was somewhere in between."

"And Calina?" Rowan turned to his uncle. Merlin swallowed.

"She was like Nissa. In a hurry to be born."

"I suppose that's why they get along so well."

Merlin smiled a little. "Perhaps so."

They fell silent again until the door opened. Merlin looked up with hope in his eyes, only to deflate slightly when Pippa entered.

"The children are asleep," she reported with satisfaction. She sat next to her brother, leaning back on the palms of her hands.

"Mother would kill you if she saw you sitting like that in that dress," Rowan pointed out.

"Special occasion."

"Pippa, you could go get some sleep."

Pippa shot her uncle a look. "As if." He sighed, smiling.

"Thank you. All of you."

"What else is family for?" Arthur asked softly. The look of utter love and gratefulness he got in response made something in his chest warm.

The door opened again, and Gwen entered, a tired slump about her shoulders.

"He's here," she reported with a smile.

"And Adri?" Merlin asked, springing up from the chair.

"Just finished nursing him. Come meet your son, Merlin."

Merlin's smile could have rivaled the sun.

He entered his and Adri's chambers and took in the picture of his tired, sweaty wife, cradling a babe in her arms. She smiled at him as he approached the bed. He perched next to her, staring down at his son in pure wonder.

"He's beautiful," he whispered. Adri smiled in barely concealed relief as he pressed a kiss against her forehead.

"May I?" Merlin asked shyly. Adri nodded, tears of joy in her eyes as she placed the infant in his arms. Merlin smiled, tears streaming down his face.

"Hello, son." His voice was soft as though if he spoke any louder he'd shatter the perfectness of this moment. The baby was quiet. He had fuzzy tufts of chestnut hair and wide blue eyes. Merlin turned back to where he knew Arthur, Gwen, and the twins waited at the door.

"Come meet my son. Kaldur Emrys."

Arthur moved to stand at his side, warm hand finding the back of Merlin's neck and squeezing. Gwen watched with a smile, wrapping her arm around Rowan at her side. Pippa stood close to Arthur, cooing softly as she smiled brightly down at the babe.

"There's something you should…" Adri began only to trail off. Kaldur's eyes had glowed gold, and a gust of wind ruffled through Rowan's hair. Merlin gaped slightly down at his son. He could feel his son's magic, of course, and he knew it was strong, but to move something so early…

He had only known himself to ever do such a thing.

Pippa stared at the baby, a solemness about her face.

"Kaldur Emrys," she pronounced formally, "the Heir of the Warlock."

* * *

Calina poked at her breakfast. She still had not seen her mother or father today. Poppy had said they were with her baby brother. She had asked to go see them, but Poppy had said no.

Galin tried to cheer her up, talking of going on a picnic, but she ignored him. Galin was loud. Too loud sometimes. She just wanted Mama and Daddy. She brushed her hair out of her face, her gold and silver bracelet banging slightly against her face.

"Can I go see Mama _now_?" she asked Poppy. The older woman hesitated a minute.

"Calina?"

"Daddy!" She ran to him, happy when he swept her up into his arms.

"Good morning, heart." He pressed a kiss to her cheek, his beard scratchy against her face.

"Can I see Mama?"

"Mhmm, and you get to meet your baby brother too!"

Calina almost frowned. She didn't want to see a baby, she wanted Mama.

"His name is Kaldur."

"Kaldur." She tested the word out, but it felt strange on her tongue.

"Do you want to go see him?"

"And Mama? Is she better?"

"Yes, heart, she's better." Merlin smiled warmly at her. "Come on." He looked over her raven haired head at Poppy. "Thank you, Poppy."

"My pleasure, my lord."

Calina slipped her arms around her father's neck as he carried her to their rooms. When they entered, her mother was in bed, with something cradled in a bundle of blankets in her arms.

"Hi, darling." Her mother smiled broadly. "Come meet your baby brother!"

Her father set her down and she walked slowly to the bed. She stood on tiptoe to peer at the bundle in her mother's arms. A pink, wrinkled face peeked out of the blankets at her.

"Can you say hello?" her father asked, crouching down beside her.

Calina frowned. "Who is that?"

"That's your little brother, Kaldur."

"His name's Emrys."

Her father's hand on her shoulder stiffened.

"So is yours, Calina. You are Calina Emrys, and he is Kaldur Emrys."

Calina frowned deeper.

"Do you want to hold him?"

"No."

"Calina…"

"It's alright," her mother said quickly. "Maybe later." She smiled at Calina. "Do you want to come sit with us?"

"No."

"No?" Her father asked in surprise.

"I want Pippa."

Her father and mother looked at each other in surprise. "Pippa's in lessons, love."

"I want to go play."

"Alright, love." Her mother smiled placatingly. "Can I have a hug before you go?"

Calina obligingly stretched out her arms, letting her mother hug her and kiss the top of her head. Her father then carried her back to the nursery.

That night, Calina brushed the bracelet off her wrist. She didn't want it on that night. She let it get lost among her blankets and fell asleep.

She dreamed of a woman with pale blonde hair and golden glowing eyes, of the castle filled with sleeping people that wouldn't wake, of a boy with black hair and another with golden.

She awoke still feeling the burn of poison dribbling down her throat.

* * *

A pale face with moonstone eyes gazed down at the basin of water.

"Child of the Mischief Maker. You were born of hellfire, a flame inside your veins. And I will burn the world, just to hear you say my name."

A hand reached out, touching the image of Calina.

"I'm coming for you, Morgana."


	14. Mischief-Maker

**A/N: Hey guys! I am at such a brick wall with my writing right now, but here I have finally broken through. I had a completely different plan for this chapter, but now instead, this happened. And guys, I kid you not when I say that tears are drying on my cheeks from this chapter. I hope you guys enjoy, even if it's making me cry.**

 **Also, I've recently posted a oneshot that is set in the "VisionVerse", called "Pointed Hats and Black-Eared Cats", so I hope you guys check that out and enjoy.**

 **Ninagayler: Just a bit ;). Hope you like this one!**

 **MusicalsandMordred: Thank you! I'm a bit worried myself, I'm not sure where I'm going next! And that's always dangerous…**

 **And now, without further ado, back to our irregularly scheduled programming.**

* * *

Calina stared around her room. It was early in the morning. She could hear her father shushing the baby in the next room. She padded out of bed, toes scrunching as they touched the cold stone floor. She walked across the dark room to the window. She hurried in the dark, wanting to get into the warm, bright room of her parents.

There was a candle on the table in front of the window. She bit her lip. She wasn't supposed to touch candles, but it was so very dark. Surely she could light just this little candle.

 _An image of the candle flame soaring up and catching the curtains on fire filled her mind. She screamed, the window shattering…_

She shook her head, black curls shimmering down around her round face. She'd be careful. It was just one candle. She'd be very careful.

Her eyes glowed gold. The candle flickered before sputtering out. She frowned, concentrating. Her eyes glowed again.

And the flame soared up to the ceiling.

* * *

Merlin woke up to Kaldur crying. He sighed, climbing out of bed and picking up the child. It was early morning, and he was hungry.

"Merlin?" His wife's sleepy voice asked.

'He's hungry," Merlin murmured. He shushed the babe a bit, walking towards Adri."

"Morning, love. Are you hungry?" Adri cooed tiredly, taking the infant in her arms.

Merlin yawned. "I'll wake up Calina too, yeah?"

"Sure."

Merlin threw on a shirt, shuffling across the adjoining room to his daughter's chamber.

Just in time to see a pillar of flame rush up the corner of the room, engulfing the curtain. His daughter stood before the fire, so very, very close...

"Acwence pa baelblyse!" The flames died out at Merlin's shout.

"Calina? Calina!" He ran to her side, crouching beside her.

"I'm...I'm ok, Daddy."

"What happened?"

"I..I just wanted…" She choked a little on her words. Merlin laid a hand on her shoulder. "I just wanted a light…"

Merlin glanced in fear at the burned curtain, his eyes finding the candle on its stand. His stomach swooped in horror. It reminded him...of when another sorceress had done the same thing. But she had been much older...and much more afraid.

"The..the candle?"

Calina nodded wordlessly.

Merlin rose to his feet, towering over her. "You know you're not supposed to light candles! Not without me or Mama watching you. What were you thinking? Calina!" The six year old flinched, eyes finding the floor at her father's angry tone.

"I...I'm…," she stuttered softly. Merlin closed his mouth, feeling a pang in his heart. He breathed through his fear, his anger, steadying his breath as he tried not to wince at the image of the flaming curtain that filled his mind. The fire had been inches from his daughter. So close to her raven curls. So close to her pale hands and face...

"I'm sorry, Daddy." Merlin felt that pain in his heart again. He sighed, crouching at his daughter side again. She cringed away from him slightly, and the pain increased threefold. He slowly shifted on the floor in front of her, crossing his long legs under him. He reached out, gently lifting Calina's chin to meet his gaze. Soft green eyes were brimming with tears.

"Please don't be angry…"

Merlin felt tears rising in his own eyes. "Oh Calina," he whispered. "Come here, heart." He opened his arms to her. She bit her lip, shuffling forward. He gently pulled her into his lap, cradling her head against his chest. He pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"I'm sorry I snapped, darling," he murmured. "You just frightened me. I thought you were going to get hurt. I couldn't stand to see you hurt, my heart."

"I'm sorry," Calina whispered. "I know you said no…" Merlin sighed as he felt Calina's tears begin to damp his shirt.

"I said no because it was dangerous, heart. Do you see why now? Next time, make sure Mommy or Daddy is with you when you do magic, alright? And no candles." Calina's nod against his chest was very small.

"It's alright, darling. It's alright. I'm not angry with you. I was just scared you'd get hurt." He rocked her a little on the floor, whispering loving nonsense to her and stroking her hair.

"I love you, Calina," he murmured.

"I love you too, Daddy." A wide smile broke across his face at the muffled whisper.

"Even though I do this?" He poked her ribs, eliciting a giggle. She tried to burrow deeper against his chest away from his dancing fingers. He kept tickling her till her quiet giggles rose into shrill shrieks of laughter.

Adri walked in on them, the look of alarm on her face at Calina's shrieks melting into a soft smile. She frowned suddenly.

"What's that smell?"

* * *

"We are going hunting!"

Merlin looked up dubiously as Arthur entered his study. "Wonderful for you, sire, have fun."

"You're coming."

"Arthur, I have just finished this paperwork to Roland on the outbreak of plague in Caerleon," Merlin's eyes flashed gold, and the paperwork disappeared. He had gotten better at sending papers long distance. "Which by the way, I may have to go there personally if this research doesn't help, and now I have to go speak with Owen on scheduling…"

"Merlin."

"Yes, sire?"

"You're coming."

Merlin's eyes narrowed. "I also have to prepare a lesson for Nissa and Calina tomorrow…"

"Merlin."

"And Pippa and I are working on an application of the shield amulet…"

"Merlin!"

"She's going to pass me in skill in a year or…"

" _Mer_ -lin."

The warlock sighed heavily, biting his lower lip a bit. "You're not going to let me get out of this, are you?"

"Nope."

"And neither will I," a voice chimed in cheerfully behind them.

"Pippa, you know how much I _adore_ hunting, but…"

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, Merlin," Arthur snarked.

"Come on, Uncle Merlin, if I have to go, so do you."

Merlin groaned at the new voice. "Not you too, little dragon."

Rowan smiled sympathetically at his uncle. "Father's dragging me."

Arthur threw up his hands. "Because we _all_ need to get out of the city. If I have to hear one more report on the grain storages, or the current problems in chicken reproduction…"

"I should look into that." Merlin brightened up hopefully. "That's outside, at least. I'll go do that, and you…"

"No, _Mer_ -lin."

"No, Uncle _Mer_ -lin."

Merlin glanced between Pippa and Arthur. Father and daughter both had their arms crossed, looking down their noses at him. "That's just wrong."

Rowan laughed. "I bet I can make them miss at least three shots, Uncle."

A gleam entered Merlin's eye. "Three? Child's play, little dragon. I can sabotage at least five."

"You're on. Loser has to attend the appeals' court tomorrow."

"Deal." Merlin stood, rising to shake Rowan's hand.

"You can't _gamble_ your responsibilities!" Arthur protested

"Says who?" Merlin challenged.

"Me. His father. And his king!"

"The point of having at least two nobles attend the appeals' court is to present a strong and interested front to the people. Therefore, it doesn't matter if it's the prince or the Court Sorcerer. In fact, having the Court Sorcerer attend on a regular, if not continual basis, allows for counsel on the subject of magical appeals. So the job will be adequately done if it's Uncle Merlin or myself." Rowan crossed his arms in satisfaction.

"There's also the point that sitting in on appeals' court gives you experience for when…"

"Experience he has already gotten many, many times over," Merlin interrupted. Arthur glared at him. Merlin and Rowan both cocked their heads, eyebrows raised and lips pursed to hide smirks.

Arthur sighed dramatically. "Fine."

"If you're done with your _impressive_ demonstration of diplomatic negotiation," Pippa inserted, voice dripping with sarcasm, "can we go now?"

"Lead the way, princess."

"Let me just tell Adri that we're…"

"Going hunting, dear?" Adri entered, Kaldur cradled in her arms.

Merlin stared at her. "How."

Adri smirked. "I passed George carrying a crossbow."

"Oh. Well, if you need me for something…"

"Nice try, Merlin, but you need to get out of the castle."

Merlin sighed. "Even my wife is deserting me."

"Wonderful, it's settled! Let's go!" Pippa grabbed Rowan's hand, pulling him out the door.

The prince rolled his eyes. "Bye Aunt Adri. Bye Kaldur!"

Adri laughed, watching them go. She accepted Merlin's kiss and watched him kiss Kaldur's head. "Have fun, darling."

"Of course, why wouldn't I?"

"Stop complaining, Merlin. Bye, Adri." Arthur smiled at her.

"Good luck, sire."

"Me, complain? I don't know the meaning of the word," Merlin shouted from down the hall.

"Must be your aging memory."

"You're older than me, dollophead!"

* * *

"Mama!" Calina raced across the room towards her mother.

Adri pressed a finger to her lips. "Shh, sweetheart. Kaldur's asleep."

Calina frowned abruptly at her, stopping her approach. She nodded before moving towards Galin at the low table in the center of the room. Adri watched her concernedly.

"Still a bit jealous, my lady?" Poppy asked lowly as Adri sat in a rocker next to her.

"A bit." Adri sighed, watching her daughter. "It's been six months. She won't have anything to do with him."

"Give it time," the old childminder mused. "Nissa took a year. When Galin was big enough for her to play with, she came round."

Adri pursed her lips and nodded. They sat in silence for a moment, Poppy's knitting needles clicking.

"Can you keep an eye on him, if I leave him in his cradle?" Adri asked after a moment, nodding down at her sleeping son.

"Certainly, my lady."

"Thank you, Poppy." Adri stood, placing Kaldur in a low bassinet. She rocked it for a moment as Kaldur shifted in his sleep. When he grew still, she turned towards the table.

"Calina, how would you like to come with me for a bit while Kaldur naps?"

Calina smiled up at her brightly, seemingly intrigued since her baby brother would not also be joining them. "Sure, Mama!"

Adri smiled, holding out a hand. Calina took it happily, waving to Galin as they left the nursery.

"Where are we going, Mama?"

"To pick out new curtains for your room."

"Oh." Calina looked sheepish for a moment. "Did they fix the window?"

Adri frowned a little in confusion. "What window, sweetheart?"

"The window. It exploded."

"The window exploded?" Adri looked alarmed.

"Or…I thought it did."

"Did you have a dream?" Calina shook her head. Adri frowned. "Can you show me the window?"

"It's in my room."

Adri followed Calina to her room. The burned curtains had been cleared away. Calina went to the window, only to stop and frown.

"I...I thought it was broken."

Adri watched her daughter in concern. _Could it be?_

"Swefnu."

The spell was quiet. Adri caught Calina before she fell. The girl slept soundly. Adri lifted her in her arms and carried her to her bed, huffing slightly. Calina was growing up.

Gently, Adri ran her hands over her daughter's forehead. The shield shouldn't have broken. Surely…

But there it was. A crack. Adri frowned in worry. If it was cracking, then the memories must be fighting the shield. She hesitated. Perhaps...she shook her head. Her eyes glowed gold as she began to chant.

The spell left her breathless and tired. She crawled into the bed with her daughter, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"Goodnight, darling." She closed her eyes, ignoring the voice in her head that whispered _Mischief-Maker..._

This was for the best. It must be. She deserved a second chance.

* * *

 _Six years ago…_

 _Adri cradled her baby to her chest. She had barely made it over the border with her magic. Tears ran down her face. She could still hear Merlin's angry words…_

"That is not our daughter! That is Morgana Pendragon!"

 _She sobbed harder. Surely...surely he was wrong. But to be so...so cold towards his own child? He wouldn't do that if he wasn't sure, would he?_

 _There was only one way to be sure. Adri placed her hand gently over her newborn daughter's forehead. She closed her eyes, feeling her way through the babe's memories..._

Images swirled around her. A woman and a man, welcoming a young girl with raven black curls into their arms. A gravestone. Uther Pendragon. A young, blond haired boy. A crown resting on his brow. Arthur. The boy was Arthur. And there was Merlin. Gangly, sweet Merlin and arrogant Arthur, and there was Gwen with her smile and peasant dress…

A blonde haired woman. A candle flame soaring in the middle of the night. Nightmares. Everyone was falling asleep. The burn of poison running down her throat. Waking up in the blonde haired woman's arms.

Armies attacking Camelot. Rage filling her veins at the sight of a loving Uther Pendragon. The scream of a mandrake root. Fury, inexhaustible fury at learning she was Morgana Pendragon. A crown. That crown would be hers. Arthur would die before he sat on HER throne…

 _Adri withdrew from the child's mind with a cry. She stared down at the babe. How? How was this baby...how was she...Morgana?_

 _Adri sobbed long into the night. She could not bear to put the child from her, but she could only cry. What could she do?_

 _Mischief-Maker._

 _This was why they called her this. Because she would bear Morgana Pendragon._

 _Adri grit her teeth. No. No, this baby would not be Morgana Pendragon. This would be her baby. Her daughter. She would have a second chance._

 _She dove back inside the infant's memories. She would not let them grow. She would not let them infect her daughter._

 _She wrapped every single memory in a shield. It was fused with her magic. No one would find it, not even if they looked. Not even Merlin. She stitched the shield tight, mentally locking away the memories so that only her baby remained._

 _When she withdrew from her daughter's cleaned, purified mind, she swayed. Her baby clutched in her arms, she sank into unconsciousness, one word pulsing in her mind…_

 _Mischief-Maker._


	15. Part 3 Stage: The Prince

**A/N: What's up, beautiful people? Okay, so I totally and completely was not planning on this story being as painful and agonizing as it is. That being said, I think this next chapter will be fairly sweet, featuring our favorite Little Dragon. ;) I had so, so, so, so, soooo much fun writing this chapter. This is also the beginning of Part 3: Stage.**

 **Again, this is a very slow building plot, like Vision of Happiness was, but we are getting there. I hope you guys are enjoying, and if so, please drop me a review. They give me so much joy.**

 **And now, without further ado, for the love of Camelot!**

* * *

"You're not ready." Arthur crossed his arms over his chest, eyes hard. He stared into his own bright blue eyes, brimming with barely restrained anger.

His twenty year old son leaned forward, resting his arms on the desk separating the two of them. "I am one of your best knights, and you know it. Sir Leon…"

"Sir Leon would wipe the floor with you, and _you_ know it."

"Look me in the eye and repeat that." Rowan's voice was almost cold.

Arthur's eyes narrowed. "Careful, son."

Rowan's jaw tightened at the reprimand. "Let me take the test, and we'll see then."

"If you fail, you lose the respect of the people. That is something you cannot risk."

"I have not earned the respect of the people in the first place because you have not let me. You wouldn't let me compete in the All Comers' Tournament…"

"You were fourteen."

"And I'll be twenty-four before I see it again, Father!"

Arthur's eyebrows shot up at his son's raised voice. What had happened to his calm, level-headed diplomat?

"I have the experience and the training. Sir Leon says I was ready a year ago. He's ready to step aside, why will you not let him?"

"Being First Knight isn't just about ability with a sword, Rowan. It's about being able to lead your men into battle, about having the respect of the entire army and being able to command them."

"The knights under my training and command are some of the best in the army, you yourself said that. I have the respect of the younger knights. But I will not earn the respect of the elder unless you let me fight for it."

"And if you fail?"

"Why do you not trust me?" Rowan straightened angrily, hands finding his hips. "At fourteen, you trusted Pippa to take the trials to become a high priestess. You trusted her judgement in her own ability, why can you not do the same for me?"

"Don't bring your sister into this."

"Why?" Rowan pressed his advantage almost cruelly. His eyes narrowed, his chin tilting in the air. Arthur was forcibly reminded of Gwen as his son glared at him. "You know I am right. Why do you not trust me as you do her?"

"Trust has nothing to do with it. I have my reasons for denying your request, and that is an end to it." Arthur's voice was low and calm. Deadly calm.

Rowan ignored him. "Maybe it's because you wish she was your heir instead of me?"

"Rowan!"

He flinched at Arthur's shout, biting his lip even as his eyes burned with fury. Arthur stared him down, and for the first time, Rowan felt a cold trickle of fear at the face of his father. No, not his father: his _king_.

"That's an end to it. You are dismissed."

Rowan felt as if he had been slapped. Never, in all his life, had his father ever ordered him from his presence.

"Yes, _sire,_ " he spat the word like a curse before bowing, turning on his heel, and storming from the room.

Arthur sighed heavily, pinching his nose. He sat, rubbing his hand across his face.

He heard his wife's dress rustle as she entered the room. He didn't look up, even as her arms wrapped around his shoulders and she pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Did you hear?"

Gwen hummed in her throat, stroking the back of Arthur's head.

"What happened to him? He was the obedient one! The quiet, sweet, serene one. Pippa was the one who was always causing trouble."

"He's growing up, darling." Gwen smiled. "You began to rebel against your father around his age, too."

"Not like this. And I had good reasons. He's just a boy."

"Have you seen your son recently? Another inch, and he'll be taller than you. And I've seen him with a sword. He's not wrong when he says he is one of the best knights you have."

"I know."

"Then why deny him? Do you truly not believe he's ready?"

Arthur pulled away, turning to look his wife in the eye. "No. No, he's ready."

"Then why?"

"He's so young."

"So were you. You were First Knight at eighteen, and he's two years past that."

"It's not a fun job, Guinevere. Rowan may have killed, may have led men, but he hasn't been in a war. He hasn't had scores of his men die because of his orders."

"Camelot is at peace."

"War is coming, Guinevere." Arthur frowned heavily. "Lot is growing restless. He's been conferencing with Saxons. Mercia is settling its civil war, and when it has a common enemy, it'll look to Camelot and Caerleon. Nemeth might fight alongside us, but only if Mithian is on the throne. But she is barren, and I fear her husband has no love for Camelot. War is coming. It may take a decade to get here, but it's coming. It only needs a spark, and it'll be here."

"Then you'll need your best knights to fight it. And your army will need a Crown Prince it trusts to follow."

Arthur was silent. Gwen waited patiently, fingers still tangling in his hair.

"Is it because you'd have to let him be on the front lines?"

Arthur met her gaze, a tortured look in his eyes.

"Oh, darling." Gwen pulled him to her.

"How can I do that, Guinevere? It's hard enough to send him on a _patrol_ , but to…" He took a shuddering breath. "I can trust him with my kingdom, with my army, but I can't trust him with _him_. But if he's First Knight, I'll have no choice."

"You can't protect him forever, Arthur."

"I can try," Arthur muttered petulantly.

Gwen smiled, leaning her chin on top of his head. "You've given him the tools to take care of himself. Now you have to let him."

"I don't want him to grow up. Or any of them."

"I know. I don't either. But I'm proud of who he has become. Pippa, too."

Arthur hummed in agreement. They stayed in each other's arms for a moment, silent.

"Will you let him take the test?"

Arthur sighed. "Against my own heart, I will. Their coming of age ceremony is in three weeks. That will be a good time."*

Gwen tilted his chin up. "He'll be alright, Arthur."

"I hope so." His voice was very soft. "I can't lose him, Guinevere."

"We won't."

* * *

Rowan grit his teeth as he hacked at a training dummy. He had been at it for two hours after leaving his father's chambers.

"Hey! Little Dragon!"

Rowan barely held back a grimace at the nickname. At the moment, it seemed only a reminder that he would only ever be "little" and never live up to the Pendragon name.

"You alright there, Rowan?"

He wiped his forehead, lowering his sword and turning around. "Just fine, uncle. Is there something you needed?"

Merlin eyed him. Rowan tried not to rankle under the concerned gaze. "You don't sound fine."

Rowan sighed. "I'm just a little...overwhelmed."

"Is it something I can help with?"

"I don't believe so."

Merlin was silent for a long moment. Rowan grabbed his waterskin, tilting it back and ignoring his uncle's piercing gaze.

"Did you know you have your father's eyes?"

Rowan's grip tightened on the leather waterskin. He threw it on the ground, still avoiding Merlin's eyes. "I've been told that."

"The look you have in your eyes...I saw Arthur have that look many times."

"Is that so."

"And it was always after he had had an argument with his own father."

Rowan was silent.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not particularly."

"Are you certain?"

"Yes, uncle!"

Merlin raised his eyebrows. Rowan groaned, rubbing a hand across his eyes.

"He will not let me take the test to become First Knight."

Merlin sighed. _Arthur, what are you doing?_ "Did he give a reason?"

"He says I'm not ready, and when I challenged him...he dismissed me."

"And you disagree with his decision?"

Rowan snorted derisively.

Merlin blinked a little at the noise. "He could have a logical prompting behind it."

"I accused of him of wanting Pippa to be his heir."

Merlin reeled back in shock. "That's not true."

Rowan looked him in the eye. "Isn't it? They're so incredibly alike. How could _Arthur Pendragon_ not choose the child most like him?"

Merlin gaped at him. "Rowan!"

"I have worked _years_ for this right! I have done nothing but work to impress him! To earn his respect and his trust!"

Merlin winced at the anger in his nephew's voice. A younger, fainter memory of Merlin himself seemed to echo in the prince's words.

"I deserve this!"

Merlin arched a brow at that. "You want the position because you _deserve_ it?"

"I've earned it twice over!" Rowan's voice steadily rose. "But he who was the golden child, the precious and only heir who had everything handed to him on a silver platter only sees my failures, so he looks on to someone else! It doesn't matter how hard I've worked, just how much of a disappointment I am! The older I grow, the less I can do right in his eyes. It's just more and more training and lectures and reprimands and...and..." Rowan clenched his fists, gritting his teeth and closing his eyes as he swayed on his feet.

Merlin stared at him, a deep scowl growing on his face.

"I'll never be enough for the _Once and Future King_." The title dripped with disgust.

"Enough!"

Rowan's head shot up in surprise at his uncle's growling reprimand.

"You young fool."

Rowan gaped at him. Never in all his life had his uncle spoken to him like that.

"You _deserve_ it?" Merlin took a menacing step towards him. Rowan flinched slightly. "You think the position of First Knight is a privilege? Some kind of reward? It's a sacred duty to your people and to your king. Not a title to flaunt or find glory in. It's a job, first and foremost, and it is your duty to your _people_ that the best man do that job, whether it is yourself or someone else. It's not something you _deserve_. And your father rarely talks about what your grandfather put him through as his heir, but know that everything was _not_ 'handed to him on a silver platter'. You mock the title Once and Future King, but your father _earned_ that title in the countless times he put his life on the line for Camelot. He _died_ for Camelot. He looked a dragon in the eye for Camelot, fought immortal armies, fought in the mouth of hell itself for Camelot. He has always, always, _always_ put his people and his duty first. And _what_ exactly have you done?"

Rowan swallowed, forcing himself to maintain eye contact with Merlin. "I...I…"

"And before you speak of all that your father has done to _prepare_ you for your role as Crown Prince of Camelot and Caerleon, you should be well aware that Uther was _ten times_ as hard on your father. Your father loves you and shows it freely. Uther told Arthur how disappointed he was in him with _his last words_. He tried to kill your mother! He tried to kill _Arthur_. I saw him jail Arthur for going against him, scream at Arthur and call him coward in front of the entire court! And do you think for a moment your father is _too hard on you_?" Merlin shook his head in disgust. "You are truly not ready." He turned and walked away.

And Rowan fell to his knees.

* * *

Merlin glanced over at Kaldur playing on the rug. He was making shapes in a bowl of water, his eyes glowing at the water morphed at his silent command, giggling as the water changed. Merlin shook his head in amazement at his son before turning back to his paperwork.

A soft knock drew his attention. "Come."

A hesitant Rowan entered the room. Kaldur turned before running to him.

"Rowan!"

"Hey Kal." Rowan managed a small smile, sweeping the boy up into his arms.

"Why are you sad?"

Rowan stared at the child. "How did you know I was sad?"

Kaldur shrugged. "Don't be sad!" He threw his arm around his cousin's neck, squeezing.

Rowan laughed softly. "Thanks Kal. Hey, can I talk to your daddy for a bit?"

"Kaldur, go play with your water for a bit and let me and Rowan talk, yeah?" Merlin smiled at his four year old son.

"Okay!" Rowan set the boy down, and he ran back to his basin of water.

Rowan made his way towards Merlin's desk, sitting gingerly across from him. He looked at his hands.

"Well? Spit it out, Rowan."

Rowan glanced up. He was relieved to see a slight smile on his uncle's face and compassion in his eyes. He took a deep breath. "Is what you said...what you said about my grandfather? Was it true?"

Merlin looked solemn. "I wouldn't have told it to you if it wasn't. And your father wouldn't appreciate me telling you that, either."

Rowan looked back down at his hands.

Merlin sighed, leaning forward on the desk. "What brought this on, little dragon? That outburst wasn't like you. Has this been bothering you for a while?"

Rowan shook his head. "I...with the coming of age ceremony…" He hesitated. Merlin was patient, allowing him to gather his thoughts.

"It makes it real. And I worry…" Rowan sighed. "I worry I'm not enough. I worry Pippa would be better suited for the crown, and I worry Father believes the same thing. I worry that I'll fail Camelot. And…"

Merlin smiled gently. "And?"

"And for me to be king...means for Father to be…"

 _Ahh. Now I see._ "Just because you become the Crown Prince doesn't mean you will be king for some time."

"Still. It makes it...real. I can't _imagine_ being king. I couldn't do this without him. I...I can't...I can't ever live up to him. Camelot deserves so much better than me." He looked down at his hands again. "And it seems Father agrees with me."

"If I know Arthur, his decision has far more to do with protecting you than any readiness on your part." Merlin leaned back in his chair. "Rowan, you're a fine young man, and you've the makings of a fine king. But I think while you are so desperate for your father's trust, you don't realize that what you truly need is to trust yourself."

Rowan looked up, a questioning look in his eyes.

Merlin laughed softly. "Rowan, you're the son of one of the biggest prats in history, if you didn't have a meltdown moment and rage at something every now and then, I'd be concerned. It's alright. You're growing up. You're allowed to make mistakes. Heaven knows your father did." He smiled at him. "It's the end result that matters. And I have high hopes for you."

Rowan smiled gratefully, accepting the forgiveness in Merlin's eyes. "Thank you, uncle."

"My pleasure, little dragon. Now, I think you are overdo a conversation with your father, are you not?"

"That I am." He stood, bowing slightly with a slight smirk on his face. "Thank you for your counsel, Lord Emrys."

Merlin grinned up at him. "You're welcome, my prince."

* * *

Arthur didn't look up from his desk at the knock. "Come."

"May I speak with you, sire?"

Arthur looked up in surprise. "Rowan. Of course."

Rowan bowed his head in thanks, coming to sit across from him.

Arthur took pity on him, smiling gently. "You look as nervous as a cat, son. Relax, it's just me."

Rowan didn't return the smile. "I spoke with Uncle Merlin."

Arthur sobered. "I did as well. He...mentioned he might have said some things to you about your grandfather. Things I would have rather he left unsaid." He frowned a little, giving the impression that he and Merlin had already had words over the matter.

"Was…" Rowan swallowed. "Was your father really so…"

"What did Merlin tell you?"

"He...he said Uther would jail you when you went against him. That he yelled at you in front of the entire court." Rowan met his father's gaze. "He said he tried to kill you and Mother."

Arthur sighed heavily. "I loved and respected your grandfather. But there was much he did that was wrong, and much that I didn't agree with. That led to disagreements. Often. As far as trying to kill your mother...the first time, it…"

"The _first_ time?" Rowan's eyebrows shot up.

"It was complicated," Arthur said placatingly. "The final time...Uther's spirit had been released in the castle. He believed your mother was unfit to be queen because of her background."

"You mean because she used to be a servant."

Arthur nodded. "When I confronted him…"

"You confronted a ghost?"

"Magic. It's complicated." Arthur sighed. "He tried to kill me. Your uncle saved my life, though I didn't know it till later."

Rowan was silent.

"I believe your grandfather loved me in his own way. While it was never something he shared with me often, I do believe he loved me." Arthur glanced away. "I have to believe it. I also believe he tried his best to do what he believed was right for the kingdom. But often he was wrong." Arthur shifted in his seat, leaning forward on his desk. "Now, Merlin told me a little about what else you said in your...disapproval." Rowan swallowed, looking away. "Look at me, Rowan." Arthur waited until his son dragged his eyes back to his. "If I have ever made you feel like my father ever made me feel, I am truly sorry."

"I was angry, I didn't mean…"

"I know. Beyond that...Rowan, I am so incredibly proud of you. You are miles more ready to be crowned heir than I was. You have a brilliant strategic mind, and when you aren't angry," he gave him a look, "the patience and eloquence of a diplomat. Not to mention your talent with a sword and the leadership qualities you've shown with your knights. So why on earth do you think I want Pippa to be my heir?"

"It's...I...I think _I_ want Pippa to be your heir."

Arthur stared at him in shock.

"I...I don't feel ready, and when you...I just…"

"Rowan." Arthur sighed. "You're ready, son. The only reason I don't want you taking the test is because I don't want you on the front lines. Not because I believe you incapable, but because I cannot stomach putting you in danger. It's hard enough sending you on a routine patrol."

Rowan's head shot up. "That's why…?"

"Yes."

Rowan frowned. "So…?"

"So you will take the test in three weeks time, before your coming of age ceremony."

Rowan's jaw nearly dropped. "Even after…"

"Yes."

"...I don't know what to say."

Arthur stood. "Don't say anything. Go train. I'm not going to go easy on you."

Rowan looked up at him with utter gratefulness in his eyes. He stood slowly, bowing his head. "Yes, sire. Thank you, sire." He looked up through his lashes. "I won't let you down."

Arthur smirked. "I know you won't." He pulled his son into a hug. Rowan returned the embrace, burying his nose in his father's shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he murmured.

"It's alright, son." Arthur pulled back, keeping his hands on his shoulders. "I'm proud of you. Don't ever forget that. You are Rowan Pendragon. My son. And I'll always be proud of you."

Rowan shuffled under the praised. "Thank you. I love you."

Arthur smiled, drawing him back into his arms. "And I you."

* * *

 **A/N: Yeah, okay, this is just pure fluff, but I COULDN'T HELP IT, OKAY, THEY'RE TOO BEAUTIFUL AND SWEET.**

 ***Okay, yes, in VOH I had Arthur's coming of age at eighteen, but I need everyone to be older...creative license, right? ;) Please don't shoot me!**


	16. The Sister

**A/N: Hello, hello, hello my lovely individuals! I am running on peppy music and coffee, and have broken through my writer's block! I now have a pretty clear view to the end of part 3 and the beginning of part 4, so progress! I hope you guys like it. And if so, drop me a review! Thank you so much for the reviews last chapter and your wonderful support. It keeps me going. :)**

 **Gaylelbf: Hi! Thank you so much! I hope you like this one!**

 **MusicalsandMordred: Hi again! :) Thank you so much! I'm glad it's still a bit unpredictable. But yeah, I did want a little bit of fluff in there for respite. Glad you enjoyed it!**

 **Acorntree144: Hi! I'm glad it still has the ability to suck you in and make you smile! Hope you enjoy this one, and good luck on your video! I can't wait to see it. :)**

 **And now without further ado, for the love of Camelot!**

* * *

Ten year old Calina bounced through the door of her father's study without knocking. "Daddy, can you help me with...oh, hi Pippa!" She tucked something behind her back before smiling brightly at the princess. "Where's father?"

"Speaking to my father about Nissa's lessons." Pippa returned the smile. "Can I help you?"

Calina frowned. "What about Nissa's lessons?" She and her cousin had always had magic lessons together with her father. She enjoyed learning with Nissa, even if sometimes they had to go slower than Calina liked.

"Since Nissa's skills run more towards healing magic, Uncle Merlin suggested she apprentice with Alice and her assistant," Pippa explained. When Calina's frown deepened, she chucked her under the chin gently. "Nissa's getting frustrated that you keep outstretching her in lessons. She said she wants to focus on what she's good at."

"Why didn't she tell me?" Calina ask softly.

Pippa laid a hand on her shoulder. "She didn't want you to feel bad about doing your best. Now, I know I'm not your father, but maybe I can help you?"

"Oh! Yes. But first," Calina held out her hands from behind her back, "for you. Happy birthday!"

"Oh, Calina, it's lovely!" Pippa took the simple gold necklace, admiring the pendant.

"I put a spell on it to keep it from being stolen," Calina said solemnly, nodding. "Goblins you know. They love gold. But I don't know if I did it right. I was going to get Daddy to check it."

Pippa laughed before letting her eyes glow gold. "You did it right. Very considerate of you, darling." She tried to say it with a straight face, knowing that the likelihood of a goblin in the castle was very, very slim.

Calina smiled. "I'm sorry it's not much, but I wanted to get you something for your birthday. Coming of age birthday, too." She blushed, glancing down and looking much like Merlin as she scuffed one foot behind the other. "I know you're Nissa's big sister, but I think of you as my big sister too. I wanted you to have something to remember me by."

Pippa pulled the little girl into a hug. "I think of you as my second little sister, too." She pressed a kiss to Calina's curls. "I won't ever need something to remember you by, love, but I'm glad to have it all the same." She knelt before her, pushing away her voluminous curls. "Put it on for me?"

Calina took the pendant, coming around to fasten the clasp behind Pippa's neck before throwing her arms back around her neck.

"One more thing," she stepped back, pulling a cloak clasp from her pocket. "I bought it in the market with Mama. It's for Rowan, for your birthday tomorrow. I wanted to put a spell on it so he won't lose it."

Pippa laughed. "He is always losing his cloak clasps, isn't he?"

Calina grinned. "It's cause he keeps throwing his cloaks everywhere when he takes them off."

Pippa laughed again, standing and taking the cloak clasp. She moved to one of Merlin's shelves, pulling a leather bound book from them. "Try this one." She held it where Calina could see.

Calina bit her lip, reading over the words. She held the clasp out in front of her before casting the spell.

Pippa smiled proudly. "Perfect! Now you can present it to his highness as a token of your good wishes." Pippa smirked, the formal, court-worthy words teasing.

Calina stared at her a moment, her answering smile freezing on her face.

" _Help me please. Please, just spare me a few minutes of your time, sister." A young hand grasped her wrist while an old face stared up into her eyes._

" _We must be quick sister, this enchantment will not hold for long. Tell me, what has Arthur chosen as his quest?"_

" _He sets out tomorrow for the perilous lands."_

" _How perfect! Present this to the prince as a token of your good wishes. When the time is right, you must make a likeness of the prince and bind it to the gift using the skills I taught you. When he does not return, you sister, will take your rightful place as sole heir to the throne of Camelot."_

"Calina!"

The little girl jolted. Pippa's hands were tight on her shoulders, her eyes filled with alarm.

"Are you alright? Was it a vision?"

"It...it must have been…"

"Are you alright?"

Calina shook her head slightly. "Of course, sister."

Pippa still looked at her with worry. "Perhaps you should go lay down."

"No. No, I'm alright." She smiled up at Pippa before moving to the door. "I'll see you at dinner?"

"Are you sure you're alright?"

Calina nodded, opening the door. She glanced over her shoulder, smiling again. "Thank you for your help, Morgause."

Pippa stared after her, features slack with shock.

* * *

"Do you solemnly swear to govern the people of Camelot, Caerleon, and their dominions according to the statues, customs, and laws laid down by your forebears?" Arthur gaze was properly grave as he stared down at his kneeling son.

"I do, sire," Rowan replied firmly.

"Do your promise to exercise mercy and justice in your deeds and judgements?"

"I do, sire." Earnest blue eyes met a stern gaze of the same shade.

"And do you swear allegiance to the joint kingdoms of Camelot and Caerleon, now and for as long as you shall live?" Arthur extended the sceptre horizontally before his son.

Rowan gripped the sceptre. "I, Rowan Pendragon, pledge life and limb to your service and to the protection of these kingdoms and its peoples."

Arthur released the sceptre, turning to take up a golden circlet - the same one his father had placed upon his brow at his coming of age ceremony. "Now, being of age and the heir apparent, from henceforth, you shall be Crown Prince of Camelot and Caerleon, and First Knight of the same." Arthur stepped back, a smile softening his features. Rowan rose to his feet, bowing his head once. He began to turn to the cheering crowd when Arthur gripped his shoulder, pulling him into an embrace. Rowan's solemn expression slipped, cracking into a wide grin as he returned the hug.

The feast began in earnest, congratulations passed around to the new First Knight and Crown Prince. Gwen pressed a kiss to his cheek, tears in her eyes as she told him how proud she was. Nissa, Galin, Calina, and Kaldur had also congratulated them, at varying degrees of boisterousness.

Pippa's congratulations came later. She found her more withdrawn brother hiding from the dancing, noise, and general crowd in a quiet corner of the room.

"Congratulations, my prince." She swept a dramatic curtsey, the epitome of grace.

"Please don't," Rowan begged.

Pippa smirked at him. "I suppose you don't need anymore kissing up than has already been done."

Rowan rolled his eyes. "Tell me about it. Lords who've barely spoken to me are suddenly expressing their joy at seeing me 'grow up before their eyes'. As if I'm fool enough to fall for it." Pippa laughed, leaning against the wall next to him. Rowan joined in the laughter, shaking his head. He sobered a bit, turning to look his sister in the eye.

"Be honest with me. Would you rather it have been you?"

Pippa's eyebrows shot up. "Are you kidding? Absolutely not. I don't want the weight of crown. I haven't the patience for it. I far prefer being your Court Sorcerer. That's how we always planned it."

"I know. I just felt I had to ask."

Pippa entwined her fingers with his. "You were born to be king. I don't mean because you're the eldest, I mean because of your temperament and talents. It's your destiny to be king. Mine is to support you and protect you. I wouldn't change a thing." She pressed a kiss to his cheek. "I'm so proud of you, my brother."

Rowan smiled at her. "Thank you. Happy birthday, sister."

"Happy birthday." Pippa squeezed his hand. "Dance with me?"

Rowan rolled his eyes dramatically. "If I must."

"Yep!" Pippa laughed as she pulled him out onto the dance floor. The siblings were happily dancing, enjoying the quick music and ridiculous steps they each pulled to make the other laugh, when a cry broke over the music. They turned to see Adri holding an unconscious Calina in her arms across the hall. Merlin whisked his daughter into his arms, striding from the room, Alice on his heels.

"Go." Rowan nodded to her. Pippa nodded before following them out.

"What happened?" she called, running as fast as her gown would allow.

"She just collapsed, I don't know…" Adri's eyes were wide with worry. Pippa laid a hand on her arm reassuringly.

"Take her to my chambers," Alice instructed. Merlin nodded, face grim with worry.

Calina moaned, eyes fluttering open. "Daddy…"

"We're here, heart, shh…" Merlin soothed.

"Where did she go?"

"Who, Calina?" Pippa pressed.

"The...the…" The little girl's eyes rolled back in her head as she passed out.

They reached the physician's chambers. Alice moved quickly to her shelves.

"Lay her on the cot," she called over her shoulder. Adri and Pippa kneeled next to the cot as Merlin laid her down. Adri ran her fingers through her hair, whispering to her daughter. Pippa took her hand.

"Come on, darling," she whispered.

* * *

Calina's eyes cracked open slowly. She moaned at the light, turning over.

"Shh, Calina. It's alright." A hand was on her brow.

"Pippa?"

The princess smiled down at her. "You gave us a scare, dear. What do you remember?"

"It...it was like a vision...but it felt like a memory…" She frowned. "Where's Mama and Daddy?"

Pippa gestured to the other side of the cot. Merlin and Adri were slumped against each other and a wall, sound asleep.

"You've been unconscious for three days, Calina." The little girl's eyes widened. "I offered to watch you so they could get some sleep. Alice said you passed out because you weren't wearing your healing bracelet." Pippa frowned worriedly. "Why weren't you wearing it?"

Calina's eyes glazed over as she stared at Pippa.

" _I didn't mean to intrude. I wanted to introduce myself, I'm the Lady Morgana."_

" _I know who you are," the blonde woman replied._

" _How's your arm? You were wounded."_

" _It will heal soon enough." She stepped closer, her familiar eyes seeming to pierce her. "You look tired."_

" _I haven't been sleeping…"_

" _I know for myself how troubling that can be."_

" _Could it be that we've met somewhere before."_

 _The woman shook her head sadly. "I'm glad we've met now."_

" _That's a beautiful bracelet."_

" _It was a gift...from my mother." She slipped it off her wrist. "Please, I would like you to have it. It's a healing bracelet, it will help you sleep."_

" _I couldn't." She turned to go, steps quick. "You must be tired. I will leave you to rest."_

 _The blonde woman stepped after her. "I hope you will remember me fondly"_

 _She nodded once._

"It hurts my wrist." The words came easily to Calina's lips, as if made slippery by their dishonesty. Pippa frowned for a moment, before nodding.

"Perhaps we can fix that."

"Calina?" Adri stood, gathering her daughter into her arms. "Oh, Calina!" Merlin roused from his slumber, eyes widening as he saw his daughter. Pippa smiled, slipping from the room to fetch Alice.

* * *

"I need the horn of Cathbad."

Merlin's eyebrows shot up at that declaration. Pippa didn't blink.

"May I ask why?"

"No, you may not."

"Pippa, the horn of Cathbad holds powerful and _dangerous_ magic. You know that as well as I do."

"I am well aware of the dangers of the horn."

Merlin crossed his arms. "Then why?"

"Indulge me."

"Pippa."

The five foot four princess drew herself up to her full height. "I am a high priestess of the Old Religion. I am well equipped to wield the magic of the horn. I do not make this request lightly."

"Have you mentioned this request to your father? The _king_?"

"No, I made it through the proper channels. Yourself, as Court Sorcerer of the kingdom, have the power to make these decisions."

"Fine. Request denied."

"Uncle…"

"Tell me why, or I shan't even consider it, Pippa. The horn is not something for magical experimentation…"

"I ask for much more than mere _playing_ , Lord Emrys." The words were cold.

Merlin eyed her, gaze softening. "My apologies, princess."

Pippa nodded. "Uncle, I'm asking you to trust me. I understand the dangers of the horn. I have studied it as well as you. But this is something I must do."

"Because of the Isle of the Blessed? Because of you're a priestess?"

"No. Because I'm a sister."

Merlin stared at her for a moment before his eyes flashed gold. A hidden alcove in the stone wall appeared. Merlin pulled the horn from the alcove, handing it to his niece. "You know not to look back at the spirit. I take it you will be journeying to the stone of Nemeton?"

"Yes. And I would prefer you say nothing of it."

"I can't promise that."

"Good thing I'll gone before you can, then." Pippa smirked slightly.

Merlin sighed heavily. "Be safe, princess."

"Thank you, Lord Emrys."

"And Pippa? You have a tendency to take the weight of the world on your shoulders. Remember you have people willing to share the burden, yeah? Ask for help if you need it."

Pippa smiled softly. "Of course. Thank you, uncle." Her eyes glowed gold as she chanted a transportation spell and disappeared in a whirling cloud of smoke.

Merlin frowned. Now to tell Arthur his daughter had gone to summon the spirits of the dead…

* * *

Pippa glanced around at the ring of stones towering above her. Drawing a deep breath, she raised the horn to her lips.

 _Come say hello, Morgana._


End file.
